In the movie Castaway, the main character Chuck Noland, played by Tom Hanks, is stuck on a deserted island. At one point, he is trying to start a fire by rubbing a stick on a wood plank near dried up grass. Despite his best effort, he can’t seem to get the fire started. It’s only when the plank splits a little the air is able to get through from the bottom to feed the fire. It wasn’t until he applied both heat and air that he was successful.
A friend of mine used to work with teenagers which is where he met a quiet freshman named Kevin. Kevin started dating Allie when they were just fourteen. Four years later, they were still dating when my friend asked Kevin, who had just graduated, to help him lead a cabin of guys for a week at summer camp. Every single day, while he was away at camp, Kevin wrote Allie a letter. His level of devotion and thoughtfulness was amazing. The fact that he exercised that level of maturity at age eighteen made it even more amazing. Kevin and Allie continued to date through college and beyond. Today they have been married for seven years and have three kids. Kevin continues to consistently show the characteristics of a man who loves his wife in the same way he did when they were high school sweethearts.
We all know how important it is to watch our words when we are having a disagreement with our spouse. It’s easy to let wounding words slip out. But it’s not just what we say that we need to be careful about (here is What Not to Say to To Your Spouse During a Fight and 9 Things to Say to Your Spouse During a Fight), but what we do during an argument as well. Reading body language well can really help resolve conflicts with your spouse.