It’s said that the average adult makes about 35,000 decisions a day. That would mean someone who slept seven hours a night would make about two decisions per second while awake—every day. Even if these figures are overestimated, the truth is we all do have a lot on our minds and make many decisions each day. We juggle schedules, work problems, family issues, and more. It can get exhausting.
One of the best jugglers I know is my wife, Susan. She writes, manages a team of people, and hosts two podcasts. She’s busy and has a lot of decisions to make. She’s great at managing it all, but decisions can leave anyone feeling stressed and burdened. And I don’t want that for my wife. I want her life to be as stress-free as possible. So I don’t want to put her in a position of having to make unnecessary decisions. None of us should do that to our spouses. Here are 3 decisions your spouse shouldn’t have to make.
1. Whether to Trust in You
If you come home an hour later than you said you would, do you explain why, or do you leave your spouse in the dark? If you’re forthcoming about it, your spouse won’t have to wonder whether you’re late for sketchy reasons. If you make it seem like a secret, your spouse may question whether you’re trustworthy. But he or she should be able to trust you—so don’t give your spouse reasons not to. Avoid unnecessary time with people of the opposite sex. Avoid going places that could tempt you to make poor choices. Since “whether to trust you” is among the decisions your spouse shouldn’t have to make, keep him or her in the loop. If your spouse is going to trust you, you have to be trustworthy.
2. Whether to Confide in You
Your spouse should never feel like it isn’t safe to come to you to have big conversations. But your spouse won’t want to confide in you if he or she feels like you don’t care or if you’ve already blabbed to others about something meant to remain private. Even making light of something your spouse finds deeply important could result in his or her hesitance to confide in you again. So give your spouse reasons to believe that no matter what he or she shares from the heart, it will find its way into yours, too. There should be no relationship on earth more intimate than the one you have with your spouse. Give your spouse your full attention when he or she speaks, truly listen, and empathize.
3. Whether to Rely on You
A coworker of mine describes a true friend as someone you can call when your car breaks down two hours from home at 11 p.m. on a Tuesday and there is no doubt in your mind that this person will show up to give you a ride. This statement should be even more true for your spouse. He or she should be able to rely on you fully. There should be no question that you’ll step up and step in when your spouse needs you to do so. And your spouse won’t question that if you consistently show up, focus on your relationship, and prioritize him or her.
What are some other decisions your spouse shouldn’t have to make? Share in a comment.
