When you were growing up, was your mom always telling you to stop slouching and sit up straight? Well, it turns out her nagging was justified. Bad physical posture can have all sorts of negative effects on your health. And good posture can have positive effects.
In the same way, good relational posture is also important. Here are 6 good postures to adopt for rich, healthy relationships.
- A posture of humility. No one likes a know-it-all. We may have a position of leadership and responsibility in the home or at work, but that doesn’t mean everyone else has to just salute and jump to it. Good leaders lead by example, not with loud voices. It’s one thing to be confident in your abilities and decision making, but that can easily become controlling.
Humility acknowledges that you need other people—and not just to do what you want them to. Humility recognizes other people have strengths and insights. Humility listens rather than lectures. Humility seeks advice and counsel from others. - A posture of peace. Have you ever noticed how the temperature changes when some people come into a room? It can either get really chilly or heat up pretty quickly without them even saying a word. You can read it in their face and their body language. What kind of effect do you have on the people around you? In situations of conflict or difficulty, do you bring a calming presence? In tense moments, try to relax physically and mentally. Think of yourself as a thermostat that regulates the temperature in the room instead of a thermometer that merely reflects that temperature.
- A posture of unity. When conflicts arise, people are usually quick to take sides. Whether it’s a husband and wife disagreeing over their budget or a work team squabbling about responsibilities, they divide. The answer is to make the issue the opponent, not the other person, so that “we” come together to address a situation. It’s promoting the sense of team. Unity links hands and hearts with other people.
- A posture of reconciliation. Despite all our best efforts, there will be times when relationships are bruised, even broken. Misunderstanding, hurtful words, and anger can all damage a relationship. Times like these need someone who will lead the way and step into the gap to move towards repairing the breach. That might mean being the first to apologize and ask for forgiveness. Reconciliation reaches out to other people.
- A posture of giving. It’s easy to develop a consumer attitude towards relationships: What am I going to get out of this? This is especially true when we are very busy, as we get focused on what needs to be done rather than the people around us. Instead of being selfish, let’s strive to be selfless. Ask yourself, “What does my [spouse/child/friend/colleague] need from me today?” Better yet, ask them directly. Generosity is giving without expecting anything in return. Giving extends a hand to other people.
- A posture of openness. You’ve probably been around people who are cold and play their cards very close to the vest. It’s not very enjoyable to be around a person like that. You don’t feel any connection with them and the relationship goes nowhere. Most people would rather be around someone who is warm and inviting and lays their cards on the table. Openness and honesty fosters fast growing relationships.
As you consider these six relational postures, which ones do you think you most need to “straighten up” in? And, who in your life best exemplifies these good postures? Please share your comments below.
