I remember the major adjustments that came with adopting two children from Russia. These two kids came to us not having experienced much love, and it was our job to show them their value. But no matter how hard we tried, the early days were tough because of their childhood traumas. I remember being face to face on the floor with my son saying “I love you” over and over until his anger and fears melted away. My words mattered to him.
Your words are powerful. We have written about that over the years many times and even discussed it on an episode of the All Pro Dad podcast. Words can build up or tear down. All words have the potential to change a moment or an attitude. Our goal should be to leave a positive mark with what we say. You don’t have to be an incredible communicator or break out the thesaurus to leave your mark. Here are 6 subtle words that will influence others.
1. Try
Think back to coaches or teachers who inspired you. They probably challenged you to excel on the field or in the classroom. They pushed you to be your best. In other words, they made you try. “Try” is a powerful word of encouragement. Being influential means trying your best and encouraging others to do the same.
2. Don’t
This word can be freeing or a hindrance. Saying “don’t give up” is hopeful, while telling someone “don’t bother” can be defeating. Both have influence. Choose your words carefully around people you lead and love. Those words will steer them. Make sure it’s in a positive direction.
3. Please
This is simple but shows a lot of things about you. It demonstrates how you care about others, intend to be polite, and value kindness and humility. All of those characteristics lend to being influential in a good way, something we all should hope to be.
4. Yes
“Yes” is an open door. “No” is a closed one. While it’s good to close some doors, I think we miss out on opportunities by saying no too often. When we say yes, we embrace what could be. “Can we read books together?” “Should we go somewhere new?” Your yes is your acceptance to an unknown adventure or, at the very least, to an invitation to have fun and enjoy life with others.
5. Wait
If we all got what we wanted exactly when we wanted it, we’d be disappointed. How do I know? Because many times, what we think we want isn’t truly what’s best for us. Telling someone to wait shows you care enough about them not to urge them into a hasty mistake. Discernment happens when we take our time, wait, and then act. If you have someone in your life who is prone to rush into things, tell that person to wait.
6. You
HubSpot says personalization is the chief tactic used by email marketers to increase engagement rates. Personalizing makes perfect sense from a business standpoint but it’s even more important in our relationships. When you use the word “you,” or the other people’s names, you are demonstrating that you see them and care. It’s very subtle but it shows you’re not just thinking about yourself. It builds loyalty and connectivity, and it tells them they matter to you.
What is your favorite way to try to influence others? Share in a comment.
