I have been blessed to work alongside some great people. One of them is Tony Dungy. We first met in the mid-1990s when he was coaching the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. We bonded over our mutual love of family and desire to see dads involved in their kids’ lives. In fostering a friendship with one another, we’ve learned how to have a lasting relationship. In fact, our relationship has lasted nearly three decades, and we support each other wholeheartedly.
I think building long-lasting relationships should be a goal for us all. In relationships like these, we learn to trust more deeply. Our communication gets clearer. We share memories, show support, and grow together. Not everyone is going to be your best friend, but it’s easier than you think to keep relationships going for years. Think about your circle of influence. How many people do you hope to still be walking through life with decades from now? There are a few easy things you can do to increase the odds. Here are 4 actions that produce long-lasting relationships.
1. Checking In on People
It sounds simple, but we are all so busy these days that it’s easy to overlook the importance of checking in. This could be in an email, text, or phone call—or in an intentional “How are you?” when you bump into each other. Set a reminder in your phone to check in if that’s what it takes. There’s a major payoff—your friends and family will know you want to keep your relationship alive. It’ll look different with everyone. You may chat with some people daily but monthly with others. Staying in touch makes it obvious that other people matter to you. Wondering how to have a lasting relationship? Have consistent check-ins.
2. Visiting People Often
Calling or texting someone is good. Visiting is even better. That’s because when you are physically in the same room with someone, the region of the brain that measures emotional response is more stimulated, showing much higher levels of activity than it does during phone conversations. Simply put, you feel better when you’re around other people. Schedule times to go to see friends or family members. Hug them. Laugh and smile with them. It will show them you care about them and strengthen your bond. If you live far apart and getting together isn’t possible, make frequent video calls.
3. Committing to People
In times of need, who do you turn to? Usually, it’s the people you know the best and trust the most. How do you commit to others? Be dependable and transparent. Offer to help them, celebrate their successes, and express your appreciation for them. When they know they can count on you, they won’t want to let you go.
4. Serving People
People gravitate to the people who make them feel seen, heard, and understood. That means we must live a life of service. Make your relationships about others, not yourself. Tony and I talk all the time, and the conversation bounces back and forth among our favorite topics—work, faith, and family. We are always asking about the other guy. Lasting relationships are built on mutual trust and support, which develop through acts of service. Do it willingly, and you’ll see your friendships and partnerships stand the test of time.
How many years has your longest friendship lasted? Why do you think it’s lasted? Share in a comment.
