In 2022, YouGov polled 2,000 married couples aged 18–55, asking, “How often do you do the following: Go on date nights where you have a chance to talk, catch up, and do something fun with your spouse?” A startling 52% of couples said “never” or “a few times a year.” Just 48% had date nights “once or twice a month” or more. A routine date night for married couples is not the norm, unfortunately. That’s a shame, because dating is about so much more than getting away from kids for a few hours.
The data is clear—prioritizing date night for married couples strengthens your marriage. The YouGov poll showed more frequent dates led to happier couples, a lower divorce rate, and greater sexual satisfaction. So dates are a must, but not all dates are created equal. Being around each other isn’t enough. Too often, we allow distractions to disconnect us, which defeats the purpose of the date. But there are ways to prevent that by bringing some things and ditching others. For your next date night, here are 3 things to bring and 3 to forget.
Things to Bring on a Date:
1. A Game
Choose card games, board games, or something else. They’re all interactive, fun, and require strategy, and if your spouse is a little competitive, like mine, then this could add an extra layer of fun. Ideally, pick something that doesn’t require a screen. It’s never a bad idea to try to be more playful with your spouse.
2. A Blanket
According to the CDC, about 39% of the U.S. population lives within walking distance of a park. If that’s you, grab a blanket and set up a picnic for your spouse. If the park is too far, lay out a blanket in the back yard and stargaze. Use the blanket to create a place where uninterrupted conversations can happen. Sit down, slow down, and enjoy each other.
3. The Q&U App
Date nights for married couples can get stale, not because you don’t care about each other but because you know each other so well. To keep things interesting, download the Q&U app. It has hundreds of conversation prompts and fun questions for couples that will make your next date feel like your first date. It’s designed for people on the go, who want to connect but are struggling for deeper conversation. You’ll get to answer outside-the-box questions, like “If you had to teach something, what would you teach?”
Things to Ditch on a Date:
1. The Remote
This is a little controversial, because a CBS News report says 66% of couples believe watching TV together strengthens their relationship. TV is fine, but there’s no interaction required. We get absorbed in what’s on the screen. You may even fall asleep. And if you manage to stay awake, it’s easy to binge two hours of TV before realizing you haven’t spoken to each other since dinner. I’m not saying we should never watch TV as couples. If you have little kids or you’re a tight budget, TV can be a great date. But we all need to get out and interactive sometimes.
2. Your Phones
Technology can be good, but the likelihood that you get a text or email during your date is high. Will you have enough willpower to ignore it? Smartphones get enough of our time. Unless you’re using the Q&U app for date night, then bringing phones on a date can cut into time that should be dedicated to your spouse. So, leave it at home or in the car. Simply having it on the table with you, or in your pocket, detracts from your focus. The All Pro Dad podcast had a great conversation about how phone use affects our kids, but phones can hinder date nights, too.
3. Your To-Do List
How many times have you sat down across from your spouse for a date and quickly wound up talking about errands, kids, and chores instead of truly connecting? Date nights for married couples are not about efficiency or multitasking. They are about stepping away from the stress of life and giving your spouse your full attention. Giving attention to something other than your spouse while on a date communicates that he or she is not your top priority. Before the date begins, commit to waiting until afterward to worry about anything else.
What kind of date night for married couples do you highlight recommend? Share in a comment.
