We have some long distance runners in our office, and they will frequently discuss their exercise routines during lunch breaks. Last year, one guy vowed to run at least one mile a day. Somebody else decided to train for her first half marathon. Both hit their goals, because they stuck to their workout plans. Running 365 miles in a year or 13.1 miles all in the same day are both difficult. Lack of everyday commitment to the process could have led them to fall short of those running milestones.
Marriage is a lot like running a marathon. The relationship is meant to cover many years and will include both elating and challenging moments. My coworkers flourished in running because they focused on doing the next right thing. Your marriage can follow the same script. It’s hard, and may feel like an uphill trek at times, but your relationship can thrive if you’re committed every day. Here are 6 everyday commitments that will make your marriage stronger.
1. Regular Dates
My wife has had a pacemaker since she was a teenager. It ensures that her heart beats correctly and consistently. Without it, she’d start to struggle. In a similar way, regular dates set a loving rhythm in your marriage. I always tell people to prioritize dates with your spouse—have one night in per week, one night our per month, and one weekend away per year. Fancy, expensive dates aren’t necessary, but consistency is a must. Regularly spending time alone with your spouse is a great, everyday way to reaffirm your commitment. It reminds your spouse that you care enough about your marriage to put aside all other obligations and distractions just to connect as a couple.
2. No-Tech Nights
Technology in marriage can be great. Susan and I text each other throughout the day and make FaceTime calls to chat with our grandsons. But too often, technology doesn’t connect you. Instead, it distracts and disconnects you. How many times has your spouse looked over at you and seen only the top of your head because you’re consumed by whatever is on your smartphone? I’m guilty of this. Vow to put tech away at a certain point each night. Reconnect and wind down together. We live in such a fast-paced world that a nightly, tech-free reset can be a breath of fresh air in your marriage.
3. Counseling
Some marriages could use professional help. Speak with your pastor. If you need further counseling, find one who shares your worldview. Seeking a neutral, outsider’s guidance shows commitment in marriage; it demonstrates that you care enough to work through rough spots. You won’t have counseling daily, but you’ll have daily opportunities to apply the tools a therapist provides and the skills he or she helps you hone.
4. Evening Walks
Not only is getting outside for some walks good for your physical health, it’s a chance to slow down and listen to one another. But there’s a caveat—taking walks together isn’t for discussing difficult topics related to marriage, the kids, or work. Susan and I take walks together periodically. When I once brought an agenda of heavy topics to talk about on a walk, it didn’t end well. What should have connected my wife and me felt like a lecture for her. I asked for forgiveness, and our walks ever since are for connection.
5. Text Sign-Offs
I heard a story about lady ending messages to her husband with three letters: LYS, which stood for “Love You Still.” What a great idea. Yes, your spouse probably knows you love him or her, but using texts to remind each other is an easy and quick way to give each other a boost.
6. Making Your Spouse’s Life Easier
In some seasons of life, I start the day by asking Susan what I can do to help her. But we’ve all lived with our spouses long enough to know there are things we easily can take off their plates. It takes intentionality and practice, but it’s possible, every day, to do something that makes your spouse’s life a little easier. Part of the purpose of marriage is to give of yourself sacrificially. So if you know your wife hates doing dishes, get up early and take care of them. If you know your husband isn’t a fan of vacuuming, take on that task. This everyday commitment in marriage shows a spouse that she or she is worth the sacrifice.
What is an easy everyday commitment in marriage that you can make this week? Share in a comment.
