As my daughters went through high school, I was very intentional about talking to them about their relationships with young men. I also made it a point to interview each of their dates. I’ll share how to interview your daughter’s date in an upcoming post, but today, I’d like to answer the first question: Why you should interview your daughter’s date?
You Are Showing Your Daughter That You Value Her. And, by extension, you are showing her that you expect other men to value her too. Your daughter is an incredible gift from God. So the minor discomfort you may have interviewing her date, especially if it helps her to be treated with honor, dignity, and value, is certainly worth it. By taking the time and energy to sit down with the young man who is interested in her, you are demonstrating to her how much you care and value her.
You Are Showing the Young Man How Much You Value Your Daughter. He needs to understand that you are entrusting him with someone very, very special to you…not just because you love her but because she is a valuable human being who deserves to be respected and appreciated.
You Are Setting Standards of Expectation. Our daughters and their dates need to know that you actually care about what they do. If you won’t spend a bit of time to set some boundaries, you leave it up to your daughter and her date to fill in the blanks themselves. [Tweet This] And even if you’ve explained those boundaries to her, it helps her to stand up for those values when she knows that her date has heard them too.
You Are Giving Your Daughter the Gift of Seeing Another Side of the Guy. How will he react to this interview? Let your daughter know that his reaction, both in front of you and later on during the date, will reveal a lot about his character. If he is not an honorable guy, it will show up pretty quickly during the date. On the other hand, if he is respectful to your face and with her, she will see something admirable in him.
You Are Putting Others on Notice That Your Daughter Is Loved and Valued by Her Family. She may not always appreciate this, but your willingness to do this for her will get the word out that your family takes relationships very seriously. Sure, you might get the label, “old-fashioned,” put on you personally, but that’s a price worth paying to show the world how much you love your daughter.
Do you have a story to share about interviewing…or being interviewed…for a date? What other reasons do you think justify this investment of time in your daughter’s life? Share your comments with us!