What is Love? The Do’s and Don’ts of Marriage


Picture in your mind a wedding at a church. The young bride and groom are at the altar facing each other, hand in hand. Their sparkling eyes and glowing faces complement the flowing wedding gown and tuxedo. The pastor stands before the excited and hopeful couple and says with confidence, “Love is patient when you feel like being patient, love is kind when you feel like being kind…” Right?

Of course not! He says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

In doing so, what is he really saying about love? What is love? He’s saying love is not just a feeling; it is a decision. Love does not say, “Feel this way.” Love says, “Act this way.”

So here are some of the do’s and don’ts of marriage.

1. DON’T be selfish. DO put your spouse first.

No matter what the circumstance, it’s important to always put your spouse’s needs ahead of your own. Loving someone means doing what’s best for them no matter what it costs you.

2. DON’T be rude. DO be kind.

Be a source of kindness. Be a source of encouragement.  Let your words be filled with kindness. These 10 More Things Husbands Want to Hear from Their Wives and 10 More Things Wives Want to Hear from Their Husbands will help.

3. DON’T bring up their past mistakes. DO forgive.

Love does not keep a record of wrongs. And Giving Forgiveness means moving forward in your relationship, not constantly looking back.

4. DON’T anger easily. DO be patient.

Getting angry over the little things in life brings about negative attitudes and can result in unbridled bitterness in your marriage. If you have anger issues, you’ll want to read these 3 Ways to Get to the Root of Anger. Do be patient. Patience is a choice. When you’re patient, you choose to hold your tongue instead of releasing its venom. You choose to have a long fuse instead of a quick temper. Patience is choosing to control your emotions rather than letting your emotions control you.

5. DON’T be proud. DO be humble.

Disagreements will come about in every marriage. But, those arguments will be resolved much sooner if you are humble enough to recognize when you are wrong and apologize instead of holding onto your pride. I encourage you to Fight for Your Marriage, Not Your Pride.

What are some other do’s and don’ts of marriage? Leave a comment.


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