Lie 4: Everyone’s a Winner


Today we’ll take a look at the fourth lie that parents tell their children according to author Tim Elmore as he highlights in his book Generation iY. Be sure to read the first three lies as well.

Lie #4. “Everyone’s a Winner.”

It seemed to start in the early 90’s. Maybe it was in little league sports, maybe somewhere else.  Someone came up with the idea that there would be no losers.  Maybe they didn’t want to “damage the children’s self-esteem.” Thus, everyone wins. Everyone gets a trophy. Sure, maybe at a very young age it’s no big deal, but kids are smart cookies. As they get a bit older, they see what’s happening and it de-motivates them.  The less talented kids have no reason to do better and the more talented kids have little motivation to excel.  On the other hand, it’s also dangerous for our children to think that if you can’t win, you shouldn’t play. That’s a lie too. There is often incredible benefit in being on the basketball team even if you’re not the starter or to sing in the choir even if you’re not the star.

The truth is, when everybody wins, nobody wins. When our children get into high school, there are winners and losers. As we launch our children into the world, they may be in for a shock to find that they don’t get a raise from their boss for just participating at work.

What are you teaching your child about winning and losing? Here are a few tips on how to be a winner so you can model it for your children.


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