Recently a friend challenged me to ask myself a question: Do I pray more for me or do I pray more for us in my marriage?
Prayer is the simple but powerful act of talking to God. But our prayers can be very self-focused. We may be more inclined to pray for ourselves and our wants and desires than for others. And, when we do pray for our spouses and others, we may be inclined to ask God to change them, to straighten them out, when we really should be asking God to transform my own mind and heart.
Why is praying for our spouses and ourselves so important? Talking to God is unlike any other conversation. That’s because I’m talking with the One Who made us and knows us and has been with us through everything. He sees and knows it all, better than any friend, family member, or counselor ever could. When I am mindful of that, I realize that I need to be talking to God constantly about my marriage, whether it’s up or down, good or bad. I need to let God know what we’re thinking, needing, and feeling, for the sake of my spouse and my marriage. Praying for my marriage and for my wife, Susan, is critical.
If you’ve not developed a habit of praying for your spouse and marriage, consider spending some time talking to God using these types of prayers:
Prayers of Gratitude.
Being grateful all the time doesn’t come naturally to the human race. But it’s important in marriage. And some days, it comes easy. But even when I don’t feel thankful, I need to express gratitude to God for the goodness of marriage, for my marriage, and for my wife, Susan.
Prayers of Confession.
My wife is not always the first person that needs to hear I was wrong, please forgive me. When I know I’ve done wrong, it often helps for me to confess it to God first, and ask Him to help me have the courage to confess it and make it right with her.
Prayers of Intercession.
That just means me going to God on behalf of my spouse. In times of great distress, my wife may need help in her heart that I can’t give her. In those desperate times, my prayer for her is both a duty and a privilege. I can be praying for things like peace, healing, wisdom, and courage for her.
Prayers of Scripture
When I find a verse in the Bible that I want to be true and fresh and real for Susan, I’m learning not to just tell her about it, but to talk to God about it. I ask God to show Himself to her by revealing the truth of that verse in her life. For example, there’s a promise in the book of Isaiah that says, “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.” So I can say to God, “Please help Susan to find strength today from putting her hope in you, and help me to know how to encourage her to do that.”
Prayers of Need.
Talk to God about the needs you have in your marriage and family. Ask for help to be a better spouse and a better parent.
Prayer is powerful. There’s a great line in the movie Shadowlands about C.S. Lewis in which Lewis explains to a friend why he prays. He says, “I pray because the need flows out of me all the time, waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God, it changes me.” And it changes marriages.
If you’d like some more specific prayers to pray, check out Susan’s posts for praying protection for your marriage, praying for your family, for your child, and for your teen.
What are some ways you’ve been blessed by talking to God about your spouse and marriage? Share your experiences with others in the comments below.
