In speeches, articles, and blog posts through the years, I’ve been fond of sharing this tried-and-true adage: the family that prays together stays together. I believe that with all my heart. As author Tim Keller says, “Prayer is both conversation and encounter with God.” Susan and I like to have that encounter alone with God and we also enjoy having our prayer time together. We pray together just about every day.
It’s so important for married couples to pray together. Praying with your spouse, if you haven’t made it a habit, can feel awkward at first, but will then become something you will find comforting and encouraging. We need to encourage couples everywhere to be intentional about praying together. Here are some of the benefits:
1. Praying together humbles you: Praying about your concerns and struggles keeps you humble as you share with God and your spouse what things worry you and tempt you, or what you need to figure out. When you pray to God, you are not only talking and listening to Him but also recognizing that He knows all things and controls all things.
2. Praying teaches you to be other-focused: Spending time talking and praying together about issues and concerns helps you see life and the troubles of your spouse in a better light. Praying helps you focus on your spouse and others, too.
3. Praying together encourages vulnerability and grace: Prayers of confession or for asking God for help against a temptation allows you to be vulnerable with each other, and to show forgiveness and grace towards each other. It may feel counter-intuitive but that vulnerability can also strengthen the love and affection you feel for one another.
4. Praying together increases trust and intimacy with spouse: Intimacy is built on trust, and trust is built on how we respond to being vulnerable with each other. Praying together helps you show and receive trust that strengthens the bonds of intimacy in your relationship.
Praying together helps you show and receive trust that strengthens the bonds of intimacy in your relationship.
5. Praying together strengthens the bond of the marriage: Prayer is also a way to seek God’s wisdom together. As you pray and come to agreements on matters, that discipline then builds unity and strength in the marriage. And prayer is also where you can fight for your marriage together when the difficult days come.
6. Praying together helps your spouse know your struggles and needs better: Praying together about your struggles and worries also helps you both know how to better pray for each other throughout the week because you get to know each other better. And prayer provides insight on how to help and love each other better, too.
7. Prayer changes people: I really like the quote about prayer from an actor playing C.S. Lewis in the movie Shadowlands: “I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time, waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God, it changes me.”
8. Praying together reminds you that God is the sole source of life, truth, love, and hope: When you pray together, you are focusing your minds, hearts, and marriage on God. You are making your marriage God-centered. You are sharing with Him your deepest needs and desires, hopes and dreams…together.
These are just some of the very best reasons I want to encourage you to pray together, more often if you already do, or starting now if you never have.
Do you and your spouse pray together? Comment Below.