This life can be very, very tough. What makes suffering and hardship worse is that they often turn us against each other rather than toward each other. My friends, Dennis and Barbara Rainey give five ways to keep that from happening as you navigate through the common speed bumps and detours of life and I’d like to share them with you today…
1. Give your spouse time and freedom to process trials differently.
Fight the urge to discount each others’ emotions or grow impatient with the time it’s taking your spouse to deal with this. Some of us are quick to move on. Some process slowly and are more introspective. Give your spouse freedom to not be like you.
2. Recognize the temptation to withdraw from each other during periods of intense challenges.
As a result, you end up thinking your spouse doesn’t understand you or isn’t taking this seriously enough, which makes you want to pull back even more.
3. Respond to trials by embracing God’s perspective of suffering.
Search the Scriptures for God’s counsel and point of view. Verses like, “In everything give thanks” (1 Thessalonians 5:18) help to strengthen you through seasons of suffering, by reminding you that God is good and He is in control.
4. Remember that your mate is never your enemy.
As Dr. Dan Allender says, “Your spouse is your ‘intimate ally,’ a fellow ‘burden-bearer’ for a difficult time.”
5. If the burden or suffering persists, seek outside help.
If you feel like you’re slipping off in a deep ditch as a couple, don’t wait until you have all four wheels stuck before you seek the help. Find godly counsel by calling a mature mentoring couple, your pastor, or a biblical counselor to gain some traction.
