A few months ago, I wrote about the 5 Secrets You Must Know About Your Husband. It was a big hit so I’ve asked my wife, Susan, to help in sharing some things that will be helpful for the wives out there! Thank you Susan for stepping in and helping me out.
By: Susan Merrill
Mark and I don’t keep secrets from each other. We just don’t—it’s how we think a marriage should be. But there may be a few secrets that he doesn’t know that swirl around my head from time to time that I just wish he knew. And no, it’s not that I went shopping and spent a lot of money without him knowing—it’s the inherent desires of my heart that come naturally to me, but he has to learn.
Perhaps your wife thinks like I do. Here are my 5 secrets you must know about your wife:
1. She works harder than you think.
She really does want to do it all for the family and around the home or, at least, as much as she can. It is always on her mind that you, her husband, should be put first, but somehow the kids, the housework, the cooking, cleaning, and any work she has piles up, especially if she has a job outside of the home as well. What she wants to hear is, “Thank you for all that you do. I want to treat you to your favorite dinner, or take the kids out for the night so you can have some quiet, or have a mom’s night out.” But the most important thing is for you to say the two simple words, “Thank you.” It’s a feeling of gratitude for how hard she works that will score you big points.
2. She wants your approval.
You are the man that she tried to impress in your dating years. You are the one she still wants to impress. She might not say it outright, but she is begging for your approval. Approval in all sorts of ways—her physical appearance, her personality, her parenting, her work ethic. It is sometimes daunting when you look around and there are all those beautiful women portrayed on every street corner or commercial, or the seemingly unfazed working mom who has it all together. Give her a wink, tell her that she’s more beautiful than the day you first met her, or tell her how great she is as a mom. It will put a pep in her step and an added confidence that she is craving.
3. When she says she’s tired, she really is.
Sometimes she doesn’t even have the energy to tell you how tired she is. Just like you, she works hard and she needs to rest after a long day. Draw her a bubble bath, turn on her favorite music, and let her escape from the world for a few minutes. Or, just simply say that she should get some rest and go to bed early, you’ll take care of everything else. Knowing that you have her back is all the comfort she truly needs when she’s physically exhausted.
4. She really does enjoy sex, just not as frequently as you.
Sex isn’t taboo to her like some women say, she really does enjoy it! Of course, she does—you are her other half and her knight in shining armor. You are the one she fell in love with and only you can satisfy her in this way. She just might not want to have sex as frequently as you do. What she wishes you knew was if she had a long, hard day, but you want sex, then romance her. Whisper in her ear how beautiful she looks, offer to put the kids to bed while she showers and gets into something more comfortable, and don’t expect for her to make the first move. Take it slow, and she will feel pursued. When she feels pursued, she will be completely ready to enjoy the sacred part of marriage.
5. When she cries or vents, it’s a window to her heart.
Women are known to cry and vent, so why not take that as an opportunity to give her compassion and empathy? When she cries, she needs your compassion. She needs to know that you hurt when she hurts—that you are in it together. And when she vents, she doesn’t want to just say a bunch of things for the sake of it, she wants you to peek into the window of her heart that is crying out for empathy. She doesn’t need you to fix her problems right then and there, and she doesn’t need you just to listen because you have to. What she really needs is for you to let her know that you hear what she is saying and that you understand her frustrations or feelings. Take that moment as an opportunity to be the shoulder she wants to cry on.
Like Mark mentioned in his 5 secrets you must know about your husband, we all have an inherent desire to compare ourselves to someone of the same sex. Men and women compare themselves to one another differently, but generally speaking, it all comes down to feeling valued or loved. To know that we are one or both of those things can mean a world of difference. Take some time to sit down with your spouse and really hear the secrets that they don’t know how to verbalize. Trust me, it will strengthen your marriage in a way that you wouldn’t imagine.
What are some secrets you wish your husband knew about you? Please share below.