A friend of mine used to work with teenagers which is where he met a quiet freshman named Kevin. Kevin started dating Allie when they were just fourteen. Four years later, they were still dating when my friend asked Kevin, who had just graduated, to help him lead a cabin of guys for a week at summer camp. Every single day, while he was away at camp, Kevin wrote Allie a letter. His level of devotion and thoughtfulness was amazing. The fact that he exercised that level of maturity at age eighteen made it even more amazing. Kevin and Allie continued to date through college and beyond. Today they have been married for seven years and have three kids. Kevin continues to consistently show the characteristics of a man who loves his wife in the same way he did when they were high school sweethearts.
More than once Kevin’s story has made me evaluate myself on how well I truly love my wife. It’s always good to measure yourself in order to improve. It made me think of Author Dr. Robert Lewis who has a list of 25 characteristics of husbands who love their wives. I started to examine how many of these I possess. How many do you think are true of you?
1. Includes his wife in envisioning the future.
2. Is willing to say “I’m sorry” and “Forgive me” to his family.
3. Discusses household responsibilities with his wife and makes sure they are fairly distributed.
4. Seeks consultation from his wife on all major financing decisions.
5. Follows through with commitments he has made to his wife.
6. Anticipates the different stages his children will pass through.
7. Anticipates the different stages his marriage will pass through.
9. Provides financially for his family’s basic living expenses.
10. Deals with distraction so he can talk with his wife and family.
11. Prays with his wife on a regular basis.
13. Initiates fun family outings on a regular basis.
14. Takes the time to give his children practical instruction about life.
15. Manages the schedule of the home and anticipates pressure points.
17. Makes sure he and his wife have drawn up a will.
18. Lets his wife and children into the interior of his life.
19. Accepts spiritual responsibility for his family.
22. Encourages his wife to grow as an individual.
23. Takes the lead in establishing sound family values.
24. Provides time for his wife to pursue her own personal interests.
25. Is involved in a small group of men dedicated to spiritual growth.