11 Things a Husband and Wife Must Agree On


In marriage, there are certain things that you can “agree to disagree” on and other things that you absolutely must agree upon.  A husband and wife must agree on the following.

1. You are married for life, no matter what; except possibly for unfaithfulness, abuse or abandonment. Therefore, the “D” word, divorce, should never be used.

2. Your marriage is a top priority and you will do whatever you need to do to strengthen it.

3. You will strive to meet the sexual needs of your mate. Sex will not be withheld as punishment or because of lack of interest.

4. You will always be honest with your spouse and will speak the truth in love. That means no secrets.

5. Whether you would like to have children and how many you would like to have.

6. Where you will live and what you will live in.

7. When and how you will discipline your children.

8. You and your spouse will always honor your parents and in-laws, but you and your spouse, not your parents or in-laws, will make the decisions in your marriage and for your children.

9. How much you will spend, save and share.

10. Whether you will have debt and, if so, what kind and how much you will allow.

11. Who you will worship and where you will worship.

Which of these areas is toughest for you and your spouse to agree upon? When conflict and disagreements arise, here are a few ways to protect your relationship during conflict.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Jim Hawkins

    How is this – or any of the comments you’ve made helpful? You seem to profess Christ. How about gentleness and Eph 4:29. Even so, while the word property is used in some verses – what you outline is not a biblical viewpoint. Biblical Love is sacrificial (for both parties). I disagree with the rape culture comment but how do you help with the angry assault that you’ve left here?

  • Jim Hawkins

    You really should read a comment before spewing on it. Do you know the bible’s teaching on the topic? Might be a more Christ-like response discuss the issue instead of attacking the respondent. Seem more like you just came to this board to pick a fight.

  • Jim Hawkins

    Maleandlovingit come on – you really should read your second sentence and pull the log out of your eye. The question is legitimate. If you were trying to provide a meaningful dialog you could simply respond with what the bible does say. Divorce is permitted in the Law Deut 24:1-4, but Christ addresses in Matt 19:3-9. its also handled in Malachi 2:16, Eph 5:22-23, 1 Cor 7: 15-17, 24-27 – all boiling down to saying divorce isnt an institution God created but there are reasons a person could divorce and remarry without committing adultery. to the point of the article marriage is so serious and important that it should be the most important decision we make, behind submission to God, a so the points in the article really are thing we should agree upon prior to marriage. However, sin is in the world and there are those that do not want to remain in their marriage for whatever reason. The Bible warns against it which is best summarized in Pauls letters (1 Cor 7). From the totality of scripture there should be no divorce! those that leave their spouse because 1) a consistent unrepentant immorality in their spouse or 2) when an unbelieving spouse deserts a believer can find some justification that they can then remarry without committing adultery. But thats it if you want to get legalistic. But God is a God of grace and love, for those in an abusive relationship I would say nothing in the bible says stay and be abused, it only says you should continue to pray for your spouse. for the individual in that situation get into a safe environment, go see a counselor you can trust / respect and really examine what God is calling you to do.

  • Jean

    Wake up women in America and in the world. Men will try to dominate us and control everything we do, if we allow it. Speak up for justice and fairness. Read the Bible so yo all can see for yourselves that the husband must lay down his life for his wife. With that, you should see that this tells hi to do something just as important as wives submitting . 6-8-16

    I will not allow the female gender to be disrespected . I speak for justice and fairness . Ignoring the awesome Scripture to husbands does a huge, huge sin!!

  • pk

    Where are the things a husband must agree on?

  • Daniel

    Thanks to E-mail:[email protected] com…for helping me get my wife back…

  • Catherine Stauffert

    I respectfully disagree with point #2. Not about withholding sex as punishment, because I fully agree with that. I do think lack of interest at that particular time should be respected by both. Sex is an expression of love within marriage but sometimes you might not feel like engaging in it for a number of reasons. Sickness, exhaustion, just had an argument and you haven’t resolved the issue, you’re in the middle of something else that’s important… that kind of thing should be respected. Now if the ‘lack of interest’ is chronic, then the couple really needs to see a counselor to find out what issues might be holding them back. Some people have different libidos, and that’s okay. What’s important is to work out a solution that is good for both parties. Nobody should be forced to have sex if they really do not feel like having it.

  • Ksenia Valentine

    House! Choosing the right house when one values one thing over another is a nightmare. The toughest dilemma: she wants an urban-like location when he wants a bigger house in the suburbs. There is no win-win…