Andy Stanley, author and pastor, has boiled down the process of decision-making to one question. In his book The Best Question Ever, he shares his insight into the human psyche and the way we process information. I thought I would share what I took away from his writing. Every one of us has done some things in the course of our lives that we look back on and say, “What was I thinking?” We wish we could rewrite the story. We see now that we were headed down the wrong path, but in the midst of it, we were “following our heart.”
The passage of time allows us to see things a little more clearly, but wouldn’t it be great if we could have avoided those bad decisions in the first place? What if you could foolproof your marriage, your finances, your relationships, your life? Is there something that can help us to weigh every decision, or invitation, or business opportunity that will protect us from disaster and poor choices? Yes. Here’s what it is.
Start by asking the right decision-making questions.
The human condition is such that we are always pushing the boundaries. How close can I go without breaking the rules? Is it legal? If it’s not illegal, it must be OK. Is it acceptable? There’s no law against it, so it must be acceptable. Is it immoral? Is it right? These are great decision-making questions, but they are not what we really need to know. Each of these decision-making questions can be easily justified and bent to our will at the moment. What we need to ask instead is this: “What is the wise thing to do?” Wisdom is the knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment, which leads to action, discernment, or insight. Once we ask the right question, there are three levels through which you should filter your decision.
Consider the past.
Each one of us has a unique past. Nobody has your history but you. Our experiences make us who we are and predispose us to certain things. So when you are faced with a decision, the first thing you should consider is your past. “In light of your past experience, what is the wise thing to do?” If we have struggled with internet pornography, should we get rid of internet access at home? If we have struggled with debt in the past, should we get rid of our credit cards? Is it wrong to have a credit card? No. Is it wrong to have internet access? No. But if these things are in your past, then credit cards or the internet potentially aren’t wise for you. So be courageous to ask one of the best decision-making questions first: In light of my past experience, what is the wise thing for me to do?
Consider the present.
The second level is this: “In light of my current circumstances, what is the wise thing to do?” This requires you to think about what has just happened in your life and where you are emotionally, financially, relationally. There are choices you could make five years down the road that would be just fine, but if you made the same choices today, it’d end poorly. When we fail to assess our current situation in our decision-making, we very easily can fall into regret later on. So consider your current circumstances when you are making your decisions.
Consider the future.
The last level or filter in our decision-making is our future. Like our past, the future is unique to us. We may have specific things in mind that we want to achieve or avoid. So when you are faced with a choice, you should ask, “In light of my future hopes and dreams, what is the wise thing to do?” Decisions you make today will affect your future, and you need to make your decisions in light of that reality. What may be wise for someone else, and perfectly acceptable, may be catastrophic in light of your future. Think of what you want your marriage to be like in the future. What’s the wise thing to do now? In light of where you want to be in the future financially, what’s the wise choice now? What about your relationships with your children? Our unwise decisions in our past have robbed us of a portion of our future. Where you are today is a direct result of decisions you made in the past.
So the next decision you make, ask this question: What is the wise thing to do in light of your past experience, your current circumstances, and your future hopes and dreams? Decision-making questions like this one work with every situation. No one ever plans to make bad decisions. No one plans to mess up one’s own life. But we don’t plan not to, either. So, the way you plan not to fail is to ask yourself today: What is the wise thing to do? It is the best single question ever.
How might your present look different, for better or worse, if you’d made a different choice in the past? Share in a comment.
