Remember what it was like when you met your wife? If you met her the old-fashioned way, you probably saw her from a distance and started your pursuit. You followed her, but not in an inappropriate way—just so you could cross paths and actually meet her. Now that you’re married, do you still follow her? You should. It’s part of how to be a good partner.
Yes, your family needs you to lead, but your wife also needs you to follow, because there are places she’ll go where she shouldn’t have to go alone. Here are 5 places to follow your wife.
1. Follow her down to her lowest moment.
Rates of sadness and depression are climbing, even with parents. Ohio State University discovered that two out of three parents feel lonely and isolated by the demands of parenthood. They feel “burned out” and without support. Does your wife feel that way? Parenting has a way of introducing low moments to your wife’s life, but she can get down over more than just mom duties. But if you walk with her through her lowest moments, she doesn’t have to deal with them alone. If you’re wondering how to be a good partner, know this: When she’s stressed, tired, lonely, or just having a tough time, meet her there and comfort her.
2. Follow her as she faces her fears.
The National Library of Medicine reports that increasing group size reduces the perception of danger. Your wife should know that if she’s fearful, she will have at least one other person by her side—you. And your being there just might reduce a little of her fear. Maybe she’s afraid before her first day of work after a promotion, or maybe she’s afraid while she awaits her blood work results. Your wife will face whatever she faces with more confidence if you empathize with (and not dismiss) her feelings. Hold her hand. Listen without advising unless she asks for advice. Acknowledge her fears as she deals with them.
3. Follow her as she chases her dreams.
Want to know how to be a good partner? We must be our spouses’ biggest cheerleaders. Your wife may aspire to write a book, conquer a mountain hike, or ascend to CEO of her company. No matter her dream, follow along on the journey. You’ll be there for her if she hits any struggles and, and you’ll say, “I remember when…” once she hits her goal. Encourage her when she chases a new dream, and motivate her not to give up on an old one. Supporting her dreams says what matters to her also matters to you.
4. Follow her when relationships change.
Friendships fizzle. Partnerships don’t always last. When relationships change for your wife, remind her that you’re not going anywhere. Sit with her and let her vent over the changes. Let her lament how people grow apart. Your understanding will mean a lot to her in her sadness.
5. Follow her when marriage is difficult.
Marriage isn’t always a breeze. You’ll have disagreements with your wife. You may not feel good about things after a fight. But, even when it’s hard, commit to following your wife into the thick of it. This shows her the level of your commitment. You signed up for the easy days and the difficult ones. Your job is to be there for your wife no matter what. Lean into the tough moments, remembering the good ones, so that neither of you needs to do that alone.
How did you meet your spouse? Share in a comment.
