I was so impressed by Robert McLaughlin that I grabbed my laptop and started feverishly taking notes. I was in an auditorium with 60 Family First members listening to the Chick-fil-A executive reveal some of his biggest leadership secrets. Robert oversees hundreds of people. He desired to lead his team well, so he challenged himself to do something incredible—learn everyone’s name. After a few months of studying, he put staff photos up on a screen in front of a packed room and called out each person’s name correctly. He then challenged everyone else to consider taking the challenge. Many did.
Can learning names be hard? Yes. Is it important? Incredibly. “I’m just not good with names” is an excuse leaders shouldn’t accept. Restaurant owners ask servers to memorize menus. Coaches ask players to learn thick playbooks. We, as leaders, must commit to knowing the one thing that sets everyone apart—their name. Maybe you won’t need to learn as many as Robert did, but every name you memorize belongs to a person who is under your leadership. People want to be around others who care for them. It starts with knowing names. Here are 5 reasons knowing names matters.
1. It shows recognition.
Our Family First team is spread out across the country. One employee from Texas was struggling to remember the name of a newly hired man. He called him “the Ohio guy” during one of our work events. The moment demonstrated the importance of Robert’s challenge. The two men got to chat a bit after that event. They’re closer now after exchanging names and stories.
Recognition makes people feel seen. In the case of our newest employee, he may have already been feeling slightly invisible because he didn’t know many people yet. Learning his name elevates him and pulls him into the group. There are people in your offices and on your teams who feel utterly invisible. They feel like nobody cares if they show up or not. That’s the importance of remembering names. Using their name and stopping to ask how they’re doing is a powerful, inclusive gesture. It says, “I see you. You’re not interchangeable.” True leaders make people feel this way.
2. It builds connection.
Dale Carnegie’s popular book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, hit on the idea that we tend to be the most open with the people who show genuine interest in us. He wrote that a person’s name is “the sweetest sound” to them. Essentially, connection happens when good leaders aren’t afraid to build personal connections.
Once you learn someone’s name, you have opened the door to building a deeper bond. That matters because connection leads to influence. People will follow and work hard for leaders who relate to them. Using their name tells someone you want to know them better. Connection is where trust gets built, and rapport happens. Good leaders have strong relationships with their team, and knowing names is the first step to building them.
3. It conveys value.
You are leading people, not numbers on an Excel spreadsheet. Real people have names, of course, but also goals, desires, and families. They have value. We all spend money on items we think are valuable. Leaders spend time, energy, attention, and effort on people. Learning names is lumped into that. It took Robert a great deal of effort to learn hundreds of names. It will take effort for you too. But when you commit a name to memory, that person will understand you value them. When people feel valued, they feel secure, safe, and accepted.
If you’re feeling extra ambitious, challenge yourself to go deeper and even learn your employees’ kids’ or spouses’ names. Robert did this with his team members. Leaders who do this make it clear that there is no “small” person in your organization. This one commitment breaks down any perceived barrier between the worker and the person in the executive office. This injects dignity throughout your organization.
4. It changes the tone.
Tone matters from leaders. How we say things is just as important as what we’re saying because tone prepares the ear for news. “Michael, can we sit down and talk for a minute?” isn’t harsh. “Hey, you. Come to my office,” certainly is. Using names lowers defenses. It can soften difficult discussions or add seriousness where necessary. It makes dialogue more personal and less confrontational. It’s how we communicate effectively. When you use names, you gain access to people, which leads to more honest conversations, better feedback, and a more productive, healthy team culture.
5. It reflects humility.
Arrogant leaders are not respected. Humble leaders draw people in. That’s our goal: to be leaders that others want to be around, work hard for, and respect. All this can be accomplished by learning names. You’re not too busy for it. Not learning names can even come off as detached. When you take the time to learn and use names, you communicate “I want to know the people around me.” It shifts the focus away from yourself. You’re recognizing others, and in return, they’ll appreciate you.
What stands out to you most about the importance of remembering names? Share in a comment.
