If you want to live longer, get off the couch. I’m no fitness expert, but I think this is pretty sound advice. It’s obvious that exercise is good for us, yet only 28% of Americans do the recommended 150 minutes per week of physical activity. The National Institutes of Health concluded you can extend your life by up to four years just by regularly working up a sweat.
In the same way that literally staying in shape keeps us physically strong, staying “in shape” figuratively keeps our marriages strong. There are parts of us we need to exercise well in order to show up for our spouses the way our spouses need us. Here are 5 “body parts” to keep in shape for your spouse.
1. Ears
Ears are tricky, because they never stop working. Because our ears are constantly hearing noises, we can trick ourselves into thinking hearing is the same as listening. That’s problematic, because hearing can be passive while listening is always active. Work out your ears by listening attentively to your spouse. Remove distractions. Ask questions after listening. You express a deep love for your spouse when you exercise your ears.
2. Eyes
Your eyes never speak, but they communicate a lot. It’s been reported that 55% of communication comes through body language, which means the way you look at your spouse says a great deal. Your caring look can relieve stress. Your warm look can melt fears. Your eyes can be encouraging and calming. But that only happens if your gaze doesn’t wander. Work out your eyes by keeping them fixed solely on your spouse. Show your spouse that your eyes are disciplined, focused, and exclusive.
3. Feet
Just like moving your feet is good for your body, it’s also good for your relationship. Get up and go places. Plan activities. Be an active spouse and commit to doing the things that bring joy to your partner. Memories are made when you do things with your spouse. They may be higher intensity, like hiking or visiting a park. Or maybe it’s much more low key, like sitting at the beach or cooking a meal together. Learn the things he or she likes to do and do them, often, even if they’re not your favorite activities. Our spouses appreciate our willingness to engage in their interests.
4. Arms
Having big biceps looks great, but I think the way you use your arms is the real indicator of strength. Do you hold your wife’s hand when she is sad? Do you hug your husband when he’s feeling low? Do you use your arms to lighten their load? When we use our arms to embrace our spouses, we communicate love, emotionally and physically.
5. Heart
Marriage is about showing unconditional love to your spouse in all circumstances. This is an attitude that starts in the heart. Putting your spouse first is step one to exercising your heart in marriage. Be honest. Be vulnerable. Let your spouse in. Tell your wife what you like about her. Tell her you’re sorry when you mess up. Don’t assume that proximity naturally leads to intimacy. Be intentional and exercise your heart often. That’s how to show your wife you love her.
How do you show love for your spouse? Share in a comment.
