We’ve all heard a husband refer to his wife as “the old ball and chain.” And lots of wives crack jokes about their husbands—jokes that sound a lot like criticism. While most of those spouses are only kidding, many married couples’ comedic jabs at each other are rooted in something that isn’t funny. They’ve forgotten what they’ve been given: the gift of marriage.
Many seasons of marriage are hard, and if we aren’t careful in them, we start to resent our spouses or resist fully living out the vows we made to them. But just because a marriage is hard doesn’t mean a marriage isn’t good. That becomes clearer to us when we remember that marriage changes us for the better. Here are 4 ways your marriage is a gift.
1. It shows you where you have room to grow.
No matter your age, you are a work in progress. You can always be a more loving, sacrificial, and forgiving spouse. Who better to help you become those things than the person who sees every side of you? When your spouse tells you “I feel unheard, overlooked, taken for granted,” accept and act on the feedback, even if you’d rather shut down. Don’t assume your spouse is wrong; assume you might have some blind spots. If you are still learning to be more patient, attentive, or spontaneous, marriage offers the chance to grow in those areas. Without your marriage, you might not even know you have room to grow.
2. It gives you opportunities to love selflessly.
“Chivalry is dead,” they say, but only if you let it die. Fill up the car with gas so your spouse doesn’t have to do it. Make your spouse’s plate first at dinner. Step out of that business meeting to answer your spouse’s call. There are few qualities more attractive to your husband or wife than your ability to be selfless. So, express love, not because you want something in return or because it’s mandated, but because you want your spouse to know how much you care.
3. It provides you with a lifelong teammate.
Studies indicate about half of U.S. adults feel lonely at some point. One of the best parts of marriage is getting to share your life with someone who has common interests, hopes, and dreams. But marriage isn’t about avoiding loneliness. It’s about having a lifelong partner to serve and support, who’ll serve and support you, too. It’s about finding a best friend and living life together, knowing there is someone close who always has your back.
4. It opens doors to new friendships.
Susan is still great friends with a few of her college friends. We get together as often as possible to share stories about marriage, kids, and grandkids. It’s a joy to be included in a bond she’s had for over 40 years. Gaining friends is a gift of marriage and helps you grow as a person. You end up with more people to spend time with and enjoy.
In what ways has your marriage been a gift so far? Share in a comment.
