A friend of mine used to work with teenagers, which is how he met a quiet freshman named Kevin. Kevin started dating Allie when they were just 14. Four years later, they were still dating when my friend asked Kevin, who had just graduated, to help him lead a cabin of guys for a week at summer camp. Every single day while he was away at camp, Kevin wrote Allie a letter. His level of devotion and thoughtfulness amazes me. The fact that he exercised that level of maturity at age 18 made it even more amazing. Today, Kevin and Allie have been married for years—and Kevin continues to consistently show the characteristics of a man who loves his wife in the same way he did when they were high school sweethearts.
More than once, Kevin’s story has made me evaluate myself on how well I truly love my wife. It’s always good to measure yourself in order to improve. It makes me think of author Dr. Robert Lewis, who has a list of 25 characteristics of husbands who love their wives. And it makes me examine how many of them I possess. How many of these 25 characteristics do you think are true of you?
1. Includes his wife in envisioning the future
2. Is willing to say “I’m sorry” and “please forgive me” to his family
3. Discusses household responsibilities with his wife and makes sure they are fairly distributed
4. Seeks consultation from his wife on all major financing decisions
5. Follows through with commitments he has made to his wife
6. Anticipates the different stages his children will pass through
7. Anticipates the different stages his marriage will pass through
8. Frequently tells his wife what he likes about her
9. Provides financially for his family’s basic living expenses
10. Deals with distraction so he can talk with his wife and family
11. Prays with his wife on a regular basis
12. Initiates meaningful family traditions
13. Initiates fun family outings on a regular basis
14. Takes the time to give his children practical instruction about life
15. Manages the schedule of the home and anticipates pressure points
16. Keeps his family financially sound and out of harmful debt
17. Makes sure he and his wife have drawn up a will
18. Lets his wife and children into the interior of his life
19. Accepts spiritual responsibility for his family
21. Explains sex to his kids in a way that gives them a wholesome perspective
22. Encourages his wife to grow as an individual
23. Takes the lead in establishing sound family values
24. Provides time for his wife to pursue her own personal interests
25. Is involved in a small group of men dedicated to spiritual growth
What would you add to this list? Share in a comment below.
