A few years ago, our house flooded so badly we had to gut the house and take it down to the studs. It was at this time that our contractor found some problems with our house’s foundation. There were some cracks and deterioration in the pillars that were holding up the house. My contractor explained that if we didn’t fix the foundation, we could do all the framing, drywall, painting to make the house look nice all we wanted but without making the foundation sound, we’d always struggle to have a firm structure.
The same holds true with each and every one of us. We need to make sure our foundation is sturdy and then help our children to have a strong foundation as well. If we don’t, it’s only a matter of time before our lives start to sink, and maybe even collapse. We and our children need to be able to solidly answer this important question: “Who am I?” Here’s how to understand your makeup.
To know your Makeup, you have to understand your identity.
Your identity is who you are. It’s what makes you valuable. You are valuable because of who you are, not because of what you do. You were created exclusively by God and for God. That’s your true identity. And God doesn’t make junk. You were hand-made, custom-designed, and fully loaded by God to do awesome things!
So why is it so important to understand your value and gifts as a dad, mom, husband, wife? You can only give to others what you’ve got. You need to understand your value so that you can validate your kids’ value.
Validating a child’s identity is essential. Without some sort of validation, many children group up spending a lifetime searching for their identity. Children burn a lot of energy always trying to prove themselves worthy to their mom or dad. And once children are grown, if they leave the home without feeling validated, they will start searching the world to find acceptance.
We must love and lead our children by validating them for who they are- masterpieces, unique creations with immeasurable value. You may not approve or like something your kids do and there may be serious consequences, but your children need to know that you love them for who they are, not for what they do or don’t do.
Does your child know you love them for why they are, not for what they do? When your son doesn’t make the starting football team, does he know you still love him? And when your daughter is caught drinking, does she know you still love her? When your son makes a bad grade, does he know you still love him? Validate your children’s, your spouse’ identity, their makeup. It’s the foundation up which everything else in their life will be built. Once the foundation is in place, they can then better understand the blueprint for their life that God has given them to build a life that honors Him. Validation is powerful!
When is a time you validated your child’s makeup? Share your story in the comments below.
This post is taken from my book, All Pro Dad: Seven Essentials to Be a Hero to Your Kids.