Over the last couple of years, I’ve written about creative gift ideas for Valentine’s Day and Valentine’s Day activities. This year, I thought I’d share with you the gift that may be even more special to your wife—the gift of your heart.
Yes, you can reveal a bit of your heart through how you craft a date night, how you choose a gift, or how you spend time together. But we as men have to understand that, for our wives, those things are just part of the picture. They want and need to see more of our hearts toward them.
My wife, Susan, wants to know and to see and to better understand the heart that beats for her behind those actions. And I believe that wives everywhere are craving intimacy with the hearts of their husbands.
I believe that wives everywhere are craving intimacy with the hearts of their husbands.
How can we share our hearts with them? There are a lot of ways to do this: a note, a card, a full-fledged love letter, a poem or song, maybe even a selfie video to send to them.
But whatever method you choose, here are some critical elements…the anatomy if you will…of a successful message from your heart to her’s this Valentine’s Day.
1. Share Your Memories.
Open with a look back that reminds her of the things you loved about her as you were pursuing her, when you were falling in love, in the early days when everything was new and exciting. Don’t do this too fast…really think about this carefully and highlight when you can how you still see those things in her today.
2. Share a Burden.
This may seem counter-intuitive, but she wants and needs to see you be vulnerable enough to share something that you’re struggling with. This should not be the dominant part of your message, but give her a brief peek into something that weighs on you that maybe you’ve kept from her to protect her. This will often be appreciated and even draw her heart closer to you. Tell her how much it means to you that you can share this with her.
3. Share Your Reasons.
If you’ve put special thought into what you’ve given her as a gift or how you’ve arranged a special date, don’t assume that she’ll automatically know what’s behind it. Explain to her what you were thinking about her and why you thought it would be special to her. Even if that gift or date doesn’t make her all-time favorites list, knowing how your heart was in it will help her appreciate you more.
4. Fill the Chambers of Her Heart.
One of the more popular posts I’ve written in the last couple of years encouraged husbands to fill the chambers of a wife’s heart. Try addressing these heartfelt needs of your wife by finishing these sentences:
- I understand you better than when we married because I’ve learned…
- I value you more than when we first married because I now appreciate…
- I want to protect you emotionally, not just physically, to be a safe place for you to…
- I desire you now, more than ever, not just physically, but also…
5. Renew Your Commitment to Her.
Remind her that you’ll never give up on her or your marriage. Whether you’re in the thick of a difficult period in your marriage or in the throes of a blissful time, let her know that you’re dedicated to staying together and growing together.
Wives, do you have suggestions for us men on how to share our hearts better with you? Husbands, have you seen the positive results of this? Share your comments and suggestions below!