The Value of Endurance: The Tour de France and Your Marriage

tour de france


The Tour de France has begun.  It’s a grueling race that extends over 2,000 miles through the French countryside.  It’s not for the faint of heart…or body.  What’s the key to winning?  Endurance!  Struggling against a mind that wants to give up, lungs screaming for air, and legs so cramped you can’t even fully extend them.  Add to that heat, cold, rain, bugs, gravel and crashes, and you have a contest that can even drive even the sanest person crazy. Everything about the Tour de France says “I can’t do this anymore!”

Well, maybe you feel that way about your marriage.  You’re lonely in what’s supposed to be your most intimate relationship.  You don’t have anyone to talk to.  You feel the pain of betrayal and abandonment.  What do you do?  Start by remembering your wedding vows… “For richer or poorer, for better or worse…” Were those just words you said or did you mean them? But, “It hurts so badly, I just want to be happy” you say.  Yes, it does hurt, but the pain won’t just go away by you quitting the race like so many do. Instead, choose to stay the course. Decide to endure the pain of working through your hardships.  A study from the National Survey of Families and Households found that 80% of couples who are contemplating divorce but decide to work through the difficulties describe themselves as “happily married” five years later.  Marital endurance is worth it.

“But what if I want to work through it, but my spouse doesn’t?” you add.  You can’t make them stay in the race. But you can keep going on behalf of your marriage. At the end of the day, you can only control your actions. But by making changes in your life, you can positively influence your spouse to stay in the race and become the team you once were.

I really want to hear your story.  Are you struggling with this in your marriage?  How are you getting through it?

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