Are you frustrated by the lack of kind and encouraging words between you and your mate? Are you feeling like the spark that you once had in your marriage is snuffed out?
One way to fire up that love in your relationship is to write your spouse a meaningful, handwritten note…even if you don’t feel like it. I’ve done it with my wife, Susan. I included three things in the note:
1. I let her know that I love her for who she is, not because of what she does. Too often we say to our spouse “I love you because…” or “I love you when…” That is conditional love. Our love to our spouse should be unconditional. In the letter to my wife I wrote something like, “I love you for just being you. You are an incredible woman of God created with infinite value and worth. I love you always, no matter what.” My words conveyed my unconditional love to my wife.
2. I praised her for her unique talents, gifts and abilities. I shared with her that “For many years I have noticed that you are incredibly creative in the way you engage our children and navigate them through life.”
3. I shared with her what I want her to remember about our relationship. “I want you to always remember that spending time with you was a #1 priority for me. Just being with you is something I always cherish.”
So, write your letter now! If you’re not comfortable with writing a note, do it anyway! Get in a quiet place and write it from your heart. It doesn’t have to be complicated or long. You can use the outline, and even the words, above to help you. Then, put it on your spouse’s pillow tonight so they’ll see it and read it before they go to bed.
I’d really like to hear how your spouse reacts to your letter. Please share your story with me tomorrow!
