Where Hope Grows is coming soon. It’s a movie about an ex-major league baseball player named Calvin. He’s a single father with a teenage daughter. He has an alcohol addiction. Calvin struggles in his relationship with his daughter because of his drinking. He consistently lets her down by not following through on his promises. At one point, his daughter completely loses faith in him.
Although this behavior is common among alcoholics, a pattern of broken promises can occur with any parent. It produces profound consequences and heartache. A child that is never able to tell whether or not their parent is telling the truth is left frustrated and angry. In fact, it is hurtful. When we lie or fail to follow through on promises, this is what we communicate to our kids:
1. “You are not important to me.”
The daughter in the movie feels uncared for because her dad doesn’t show up when he says he will. When parents don’t keep a promise, they make their kids feel like they don’t matter much. They feel like their parent is always choosing something else over them. What are you communicating to those you love?
2. “You can’t depend on me.”
It’s saying, “Even if I say I’ll be there, you can’t be sure.” Where Hope Grows illustrates this point well. Calvin consistently lets his daughter down when she really needs him. She ends up trying to find someone else to rely on. Parents who don’t follow through on their word will naturally make their child feel like they can’t count on them. It makes the world of the child feel unstable and filled with doubt.
3. “You can’t trust me.”
It’s saying, “My words are hollow.” In essence what you saying is that you are not a safe place for them to be vulnerable. They have to protect themselves from being hurt by you. When trust is lost, it is hard to rebuild because the pain runs deep. Here are some practical ways for How to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship.
Live in the Truth: When we walk in truth, our kids will experience an amazing sense of security, stability, certainty, and freedom. Knowing the truth, speaking the truth and living by truth are at the heart of being an authentic person and parent.
Have you experienced failed promises in your life? Have you broken promises to your kids or others? What did you do about it? Please share your comments.
