Is your spouse annoying you? Before marriage, opposites attract. After marriages, opposites attack. What was once appealing is now annoying!
Before Susan and I got married over 21 years ago, she was attracted to me for my decisiveness and strong will. As the years have gone by, those qualities sometimes bother her. At this stage in her life, she’s looking for more empathy and understanding, not a bull in the china shop.
Before marriage, I was attracted to Susan for her creativeness and do everything attitude; now that messy demeanor and busyness all the time can annoy me. I want more order in the house. I want more of her time and attention
So, what should we do? Have a standoff for the rest of our life together? Of course not. We should remember and appreciate those qualities we first saw in our spouse. At the same time, we can share with them that we are in a different season of life where we desire more patience, kindness, or ________________ (fill in the blank). We also need to be willing to work on changing some things in our own behavior to meet the wishes of our spouse at this stage in our relationship.
Please note that the point here is not to create unrealistic expectations for our spouse or them for us. We don’t have the power to change them, nor them us. Also, realize that it may be a long process for the change to take place.