How to Win Your Child’s Heart


There are many things we can do to win our child’s heart.  One way is to write a meaningful note to them. I did this with my children.  I included three things in the note:

1.  I let them know that I love them for who they are, not because of what they do. Too often we say to our children “I love you because…”  That is conditional love.  Our love to our children should be unconditional.  In the letter to one of my kids I wrote, “I love you for just being you.  You are an incredible young woman, a child of God created with infinite value and worth.  I love you always, no matter what.” My words conveyed my unconditional love to my daughter.

2.  I praised them for their unique talents, gifts and abilities. I wrote to my child: “For many years I have noticed that you are a leader.  Your friends like to follow you in what you do.  You have a magnetic personality and other people like to be around you.”

3.  I shared with them what I want them to remember about our relationship.  In my letter I wrote: “I want you to always remember that spending time with you was a #1 priority for me.  Just being with you was something I always cherished.”

So, write your letter now! If you’re not comfortable with writing a note, do it anyway! Get in a quiet place and write it from your heart. It doesn’t have to be complicated or long. You can use the outline, and even the words, above to help you. Then, put it on your child’s pillow tonight so they’ll see it and read it before they go to bed.

I’d really like to hear how your child reacts to your letter.  Please share your story with me!

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Would really like for you to share your ideas on how you can win your child’s heart!

  • Harperjt

    My little girl still talks about the father-daughter dance we attended this Valentine. Every time we do anything, just the two of us it’s “father-daughter ……… Through it wasn’t the most fun I’ve had, watch a bunch of girls go crazy after a long day at work and a speeding ticket trying to get there, it was well worth it 🙂

  • Mark Murrell

    I’m going to do one for each of my three children as my gift to them this Father’s Day. Thanks!! Mark Murrell

  • Mark,

    I love the idea of a legacy letter. Need to get on that. I have had to write that “If I never come back” letter to my sons when their mother and I went to Africa. Made me appreciate our soldiers that have to do that many times. I got an idea from a great dad and finally followed through this year. I read the entire Bible (first time all the way through in 43 years) and underlined passages that meant something to me right then. Gave my son that Bible for high school graduation, told him I hope it was a used book with underlining that he used more than any other in college. Starting on one for my youngest son this week. Lots of great dads out there giving us great ideas. Thanks for sharing

  • Bruce Huckle

    Several years ago I was introduced to the ‘Letters From Dad’ ministry out of Texas, and have since developed a family tradition to write each of my children, including my son-in-law and daughter-in-law, grandchildren, and wife a personal letter each Christmas day, as well as a general letter to my family on Father’s Day. Their reaction is priceless!!!!!

  • Christine

    I have a journal for both my sons.  I write to them on their birthday every year.  Granted they are only 2 and 1 but I think in time it will turn into something that will remind us all of what we did each year, how they grew and the fun we shared as a family.  I am sure I will give it to them when they are grown even though I will want to hold onto the journals for myself when they move out.  :0)