How to Extinguish an Old Flame


It starts out so innocently.  Rummaging through some old things, you run across a faded picture of you and an old flame.  Your mind starts to think about them, “I wonder what ever happened to….?”  And nostalgia prompts you to look them up online.  It’s surprisingly easy to find them and shoot off a message.  Seems harmless, right?  Wrong! Fanning those old flames could start a wildfire that could quickly burn out of control.

Want to extinguish that old flame?  Here’s how.

Get rid of the fuel.

Take all the old pictures, the notes, the gifts, the cards, the clothes…anything that could cause a spark…and get rid of it.  If you’re hesitant to let it go, you need to ask yourself, “Why not?”  Even more reason to let it go.  And whatever you do, avoid the things and activities that could fan the flames.  That means don’t pursue emails, texts, instant messages, Facebook posts…whatever you do to feed the spark.

Light a “Backfire.”

Employ a technique used by firefighters and light a planned burn at home so no other flame can gather momentum.  Stoke this fire so that it burns so bright and hot that it will smother any others.  Try these 8 Outside-the-Box Date ideas to turn the heat up between you and your spouse.

Let’s face it.  Keeping things burning at home will make it easier to extinguish the old flames from your past.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Pknight41

    Focusing your thought life on the proper things will assist with these issues, too. If the sin nature is not dealt with in the thought life, behavior soon follows.

  • Very true, Pknight41. Thanks for sharing. Philippians 4:8 is a great standard.

  •  This just happened to me last week.  Ran across some old journal entries while clearing out some clutter.  Thankfully, I didn’t do any online digging, but I’m sure it’s a temptation! 

  • I agree — it’s so easy now to do that especially with the advanced technology (facebook, etc.)  I like that you share what not to do AND what to do! 🙂 

  • Anne

    I have been divorced for many years but still have my wedding album.  I can assure you I have absolutely no interest in my ex-husband.  I just don’t know if I should get rid of it (and how to get rid of it).  A little off topic but would like some thoughts about it.  😀

  • Pdx_jn

    I have recently found a few “old flames” through social media.
    Since intimacy is rare in my home, it is tempting for me to visit them.
    Luckily, they live out of state, so they are not easily accessible.

  • Just because you can’t actually go see them doesn’t mean that emotional attachments can’t be formed. I suggest, as one who’s been there, don’t start ANYTHING with them online. Don’t chat, don’t text, don’t call, DON’T DO ANYTHING! You might find yourself in deeper than you think or ever expected. Nip it now!