In a recent post, I shared several important reasons why it is important to build a relationship with your son’s girlfriend sooner than later. In this post, I’d like to offer some important tips on how to do that.
Share a Meal
Invite her over for dinner with your family. See what kind of foods she likes ahead of time and prepare something that she’ll enjoy that would perhaps put her more at ease. Time around the dinner table is healthy time for most families when it comes to relationship building, and this will be no exception.
Have a Game Night Together
Ask most families what their most, or least, favorite games are to play together and you’ll learn a lot about them quickly. Games can be very revealing about a person’s intensity, competitiveness, character, and people skills. It’s best to pick games that move at a leisurely pace so that conversation is encouraged.
Get Together with Her Parents
This might be more appropriate with older teens or college age kids. Getting together with her parents will give you a lot of insights about her and give you the opportunity to share your insights about your son that her parents will appreciate as well.
Plan a Special Surprise Together
If your son has a birthday, milestone, or accomplishment coming up, involve her in the planning. This will give you some time alone just to get to know her better.
Get Involved in Her Activities
Maybe she’s into sports, dance, music, or art. Let your son know that you’d like to find out when her activities happen. If they involve an audience or spectators, take the time to go with or without your son to see her in that environment and support her. It will likely mean a lot to her and to him, if their relationship is a healthy one.
Offer Your Contact Info
She doesn’t need to feel like she’s part of the family, but she should feel welcomed. When giving her your contact information, let her know what the boundaries are. Are you willing to have her call you if she has problems inside or outside of the dating relationship with your son? What if she’s in an emergency situation and can’t reach her family? Have you grown comfortable enough with her that you’d like to simply offer a listening ear? Whatever the case may be, making yourself available is a good step in building a relationship with her.
Pray for Her
You may not be her biggest fan. Or you may think she’s one of the best things to happen to your son. Either way, ask God to give you wisdom, patience, courage, and grace to know how to handle the relationship with her and with your son. You might even let her know you pray for her. That may provide some interesting insights too.
The girlfriends of my sons have all been great. They both made smart decisions. If you are worried about your son’s choices when it comes to dating, talk to him. Ponder this 5 Types of Girls I Don’t Want My Son Dating article to help start the conversation.
Are there some other ways to help build an appropriate and helpful relationship with your son’s girlfriend? Please share them in a comment below.