How Do You Know That You’re Loving Your Children Well?

There is one question that tugs on the heart of every child.  There is one question that impacts their identity. And that question is this: Do you love me?  As their father, you need to be the one answering that question with a resounding “Yes! I do love you.”

So how do you know that your children feel loved by you?  Ask them!  In my book All Pro Dad, I wrote about the time I did this with my daughters when they were younger:

I asked Megan, “Megan, how do you know I love you?”
 “Because you tickle me,” she said.
So I said, “What if my hands were tied behind my back and I couldn’t tickle you?  Then how would you know that I love you?”
She responded, “Because you spend time with me.”

Then I asked Emily, “Emily, how do you know that I love you?”
“Because you say so,” she said.
 “Well what if my lips were zipped together and I couldn’t say so?  Then how would you know that I love you?”
She smiled and shouted, “Because you play with me!”

Here are 7 Love Actions to help you give your children a rock-solid answer to this timeless question, “Do You Love Me?”

1. Words.  Tell your children, “I love you.”  Don’t ever just assume that your children know you love them.  Be sure to say it, and say it often.

2. Time.  Both Megan and Emily said that spending time with them was the best expression of my love.  So I challenge you to spend 30 fewer minutes watching TV today and 30 more minutes playing and building memories with your children.

3. Letters.  It is simply impossible for our kids to remember every word we tell them and every time we spend together.  Why not write a letter to capture your love for them in a way that will last forever?

4. Presence.  Ten years down the road, you won’t remember the emails you sent that caused you to be an hour late getting home after work.  But your kids will remember the days that they waited anxiously by the window for their Daddy to get home.  Don’t let them down; be there, be present, and be on time.

5. Acceptance.  All kids want to trust their Dad to love them no matter what.  So don’t let a mistake or a misunderstanding keep you from accepting the imperfections of your children. Love them unconditionally.

6. Listen.  Even if it’s an inconvenient time, be sure to stop whatever you’re doing and really listen to your kids when they need to talk. Don’t focus on anything else. Give them your full attention.

7. Compliments.  If you see your children acing a test or making a goal in soccer practice, don’t be slow in complimenting them.  They will love to receive that recognition and affirmation from their Dad.

Here are 5 Things to Say to Your Kids Every Day.

What are some creative ways you show your children that you love them? Please share with me below.

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