Granting forgiveness is not a feeling, it’s a decision. When you really forgive someone, you are making specific promises to yourself and to your spouse. You are saying:
1. “I will not dwell on this incident.” Don’t replay the incident in your mind. If you do, it’s like burying the hatchet but keeping the handle uncovered just in case you want to use it again.
2. “I will not bring this incident up and use it against you.” That means you will not keep a record of wrongs.
3. “I will not talk to others about it.”
4. “I will not allow this matter to stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.”