It’s easy to feel left out as a father. Between working hard at the office and keeping up the house, finding time and energy to really connect with our kids can be tough. It’s not that our family means to keep us at a distance, but, in the busyness of life, we sometimes get pushed aside. The solution? Be more deliberate about how our lives intersect with our family. Here 7 are steps to more, and better, time with your family:
Keep the Communication Lines Open
Communicate with your children in a manner that is not condescending. Keeping open communication eliminates potential issues down the line. Have real and honest conversations at every possible chance. Even consider sharing stories from your childhood as examples. It will lend you credibility in their eyes. These 4 C’s for Communicating with your Teen may help.
One-On-One Time
Make an effort to spend quality time alone with each of your children on a regular basis. Have you read You Don’t Have Time? You might have the same last name, but you probably have completely different personalities. Get to know the unique qualities of each of your kids and learn why birth order affects your parenting style.
Spiritual Connection
As cliché as it may sound, “The family that prays together stays together.” Worshipping God as a family creates a very strong bond. Encouraging your Teen to Worship and Remembering the Sabbath are important to strengthen that bond as well.
Unwavering Support
Your children are watching your every move. They are listening to every single word even when you think they aren’t. Part-time parenting doesn’t work. Commit 100% of yourself to your family. You are the strength they look to for security and hope.
As parents, we have a vision of who we would like our children to be. Rarely does that vision match reality. You might have dreamed your son would be a high school football star. Instead, he is really into guitar and has very promising skills. Embrace your child’s dreams and resist the urge to project your dreams onto them. Nurture them and support them. Validate your child no matter what stirs their personal passion.
The Good Humor Parent
No, you do not have to wear an all-white uniform, nor do you have to sell ice cream. However, it would help to consistently have a pleasant and fun-loving spirit with your children. If you are blessed with a great sense of humor, use it often with them. If you are more of a serious type, use a warm smile to put your children at ease. Big smiles and humor help to lighten tension and stress at any age.
Be There to Cheer
The Honor Roll ceremony. The t-ball game. Ballet recital. Karate tournament. Your children’s events, no matter how big or small, are big to them. The two people they want there the most are mom and dad. Sometimes life will not let you, but attend as many events as you possibly can. Take your camera and give big hugs at the end. Seek ways to affirm your child’s gifts whenever possible.
Show Affection
Hug your daughter every day or somebody else will. Boys need big bear hugs as well. Children need lots of love and plenty of affection. This can be difficult task for some men. We are raised to be strong, tough guys, but emotion cannot always be expressed verbally. There must be a physical component as well. Those big hugs you give your children will do just as much good for you as they will for your kids.
When it comes to your family, take responsibility. Your children need you to be involved in their lives as much as possible. If you have fun ideas on how to better connect with your children, I’d love to hear them!
