The tween and teen years can be extremely painful, especially for girls. As parents, it is our responsibility to make sure that our kids are equipped with the positive validation they need to face the world. If they do not receive it from us, they will seek their validation elsewhere – and that can be a dangerous thing.
Young girls are now posting videos on YouTube asking the question, “Am I Pretty or Ugly”? The responses they receive will most likely not provide any healing – and may leave more scars.
Here are some ways to show your kids you love them, so they don’t look for it in all the wrong places:
1. Love them unconditionally:
Make sure your children know that you love them no matter what they say or do. Your love for them is not based on their actions, but on the fact that they are your child.
2. Spend time with them:
For kids, love is spelled T-I-M-E. And, quality time is just a cliché. The amount of time you spend with your child shows them how much you value them. It also determines the depth of your relationship; the more time you spend with someone, the better you know them.
3. Show affection:
Most of the time, showing affection comes more naturally to women than men. However, it is important for a child to receive affection from both parents. Moms are great at hugs and kissing “boo-boos”; but, a hug from Dad provides a feeling of safety and security.
3. Be there:
When it comes to your child, every game really is the big game. Recitals, birthdays, and all the “firsts” are important. So, be there – not just physically, but emotionally. You will never live that moment again – and neither will they.
4. Believe in them:
Letting your child learn from their mistakes can be one of the most difficult things to do as a parent. But, if they don’t learn consequences, they will repeat the same patterns over and over. So, take a deep breath and decide to let them go sometimes, especially when it’s not something that could potentially hurt them long-term. You will still be there to pick up the pieces and help them learn through the experience.
Does your child know someone who has posted a video on YouTube asking “Am I Pretty or Ugly?” or a similar question? Please share your comment with me.