I’m challenging you and your spouse today to be intentional about choosing mentors for your marriage from among the marriages around you.
Here are 5 reasons why you need a marriage mentor:
1. Mentors inspire us to keep striving.
A great mentor can help you push through the hard things, the doubts, and the stumbles because they’ve been through what you’re enduring. They can cheer you on, from a place of experience, get up off the mat and keep enduring.
2. Mentors make the impossible seem possible.
One of the hardest things to do when you’re in the midst of a struggling season in marriage is to have objectivity. A good mentor couple can help you sort through the feelings and the facts. Their experience can open your eyes to the art of the possible.
3. Mentors challenge our assumptions.
A great mentor has learned from their own journey where they got things right and where they were way off base. That wisdom can help you rethink what you think you know about yourself, your marriage, and your circumstances.
4. Mentors shape our goals for success.
Sometimes the goals of a marriage can seem either unrealistically dreamy or cynically shallow. A great mentor can help you sort through what is not only achievable but also worth aiming for in your marriage.
5. Mentors get us looking beyond ourselves.
The perspective that a great mentor can bring to your situation is invaluable. Every human being shares a common struggle: the temptation to make everything and everyone be about themselves. But a mentor can help you see a bigger picture for your marriage, your kids, and even the way you see the world at large. Look for mentors that can relate to where you’re at and where you want to be as a couple.
Here are some suggestions for how to get the most from your time with a marriage mentor:
- Don’t ask them for permission or to make decisions for you. Stay focused on asking for their advice.
- Don’t go off on tangents. Keep your questions relevant and specific.
- Don’t ask questions about things you already know are the right thing to do.
While I’m at it, here are some suggested questions for when you interact with your mentor:
- What do you know now that you wish you knew and believed about marriage when you started?
- What practical steps have you taken to make your marriage stronger?
- Who or what has influenced your marriage for the better?
- What are your priorities in your marriage?
- What unimportant things have you overemphasized in your marriage?
- What important things have you underemphasized in your marriage?
- Do you have any specific advice for me as you see me interact with my spouse?
What are some other ways you’ve used mentors in your marriage and life? Share with us in the comments section below.