Dating your spouse is important, it’s fun and it’s helpful to strengthening your marriage. But spouses should plan to double date, too. Married couples need married friends. Double dates aren’t just for high school and college. Let me give you a personal example.
Rick and Lesley have been close friends to my wife, Susan and me for over 30 years. We knew them even before we were married. We can count on them to speak wisdom and love into our lives. But that relationship didn’t happen overnight. Our friendship developed by spending time together. And one of the best ways we did that was through date nights together.
Here are 5 reasons to double date with other couples on a regular basis:
1. You need close couple friends just like you need close individual friends.
Sometimes couples just really click, but often, it takes time together to build friendships. You can build that relationship by double dating. And just like you might have three or four really close individual friends, you probably can only have three or four really close couple friends.
2. You can get help, and give help, during your time with other couples.
In your friendships with other couples, you’ll find encouragement and give encouragement. Just having conversations about real-life issues- the good and bad, the funny and serious, the hard and healthy- can reveal ideas, attitudes, and perspectives that can change your marriage for the better, and avoid landmines for the worse. Also, the couples you get to know will have their own personal issues you won’t know about; time with you can be an encouragement and help to them. By sharing struggles and triumphs, you can help each other persevere through the tough times. That’s when those friendships you invested in become most helpful.
3. Your double date friends can inspire you to get out of your rut.
Over time, we all fall into patterns of thinking and limited perspectives that can drag us down and make us cynical. Dates with other couples can be like an adrenaline shot for your marriage. If you’re around the right kind of couples they can spur you on through the daily grind to find bits of joy and peace and harmony. They can be like that running partner or workout buddy that gives you a friendly kick to keep you pushing.
4. Your transparency with other couples helps you see you’re not alone.
Spending time and being transparent with other couples in a similar age or season of marriage will help you see that you’re not the only one wrestling with life and issues in your marriage. People often thank Susan and me for being transparent in our blogs, which they say helps them to know that they are not alone in their marital challenges and struggles.
5. You can learn wisdom and find friendship in older couples.
Reaching out to get to know couples further down the road than you can give you newfound wisdom. I’m able through Family First to meet with a lot of older couples around the country, and it’s been great for Susan and me to grow from their wisdom. They bless us and gives us some great marriage insights.
What are some benefits you’ve seen from double-dating with other couples? Please share your comments below.
