I did some highway driving this week and heard a new song—well, new to me. The chorus began and ended with “I did it for the girl.” What did he do? The singer did a lot of little things to please his girl. He cleaned up the truck, he splashed on some aftershave, he cued up the mood music, and he danced with her in the sunset. It worked for her and the song has a happily romantic ending.
The difficulty is that many of the little nuances that made you your wife’s boyfriend take thought and time. Those are two things parents have little of—creative energy to think and time to make it happen. But romance works, and work it you must, because women are wired to want it. When a girlfriend becomes a wife, and then a mother, her wiring does not change. She still wants whatever attracted her to you in the beginning.
She wants to feel like your girl. To bring back that feeling and become her boyfriend again, you must recall and reenact the little things that brought her joy. Every woman is different and only you know what does it for her. That is why your wife married you and not someone else.
You had that something special that got her going and…
You did it for the girl, your girl.
So bring back the guy she fell in love with. Here are 3 ways to Be Your Wife’s Boyfriend:
- Bite the Bullet. You might like to spend time with your wife by going out to eat or going on a walk together. But she likes, in her words, “deep relational points of connection.” She wants to talk about dreams and passions. She wants to see thought-provoking movies. Well, if that’s what she likes, that’s what you need to do. And you know what they say, when your wife’s happy, you’re happy!
- Bring Back the Magic. You’ve still got it in you, if you dig deep enough. Think back to when you were dating. Think about the things you did that made her day. Was she a “words girl?” Compliment her. Did she like flowers? Spend an extra 10 minutes and 10 dollars to buy her a bouquet on the way home. Did she swoon when you cleaned her car for her? Do something extra nice for her today.
- Let Her Know You’re Trying. Sometimes, it really is the thought that counts. If you feel like your efforts are going unnoticed, tell her that you’re trying to be the man she fell in love with. That alone will mean a lot to her. Then, ask her what she needs and wants from you, just like any good boyfriend would.
What are some other ways you romance your wife as her boyfriend? I’d love to hear your ideas.