10 Things Husbands Want to Hear from their Wives

things husbands want to hear

Mark Twain once commented, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” I agree. There is nothing like specific and detailed praise and validation to energize a marriage. After some research here at Family First, we found the 10 things husbands want to hear most from their wives. And if we missed one, please post your idea in the comments section below.

1. “I love being your wife.”

As simple as it sounds, husbands want to know that their wives are content in their marriage and truly enjoy just being with them. When is the last time you thanked your husband for marrying you? Don’t just assume he knows. Tell him!

2. “You’re an outstanding father.”

Deep in the heart of every man is the desire to be seen as a hero—especially to his children. Specifically, tell your husband why he is your kids’ hero. And tonight, at dinner, tell your children why he is so special.

3. “I’m really attracted to you. You are the man!”

It’s a myth that women are always more looks-conscious than men. As guys’ hairlines begin to recede and stomachs start protruding, they can become quite sensitive about their appearance. Never joke about how your husband looks.  Tell him he’s “hot” and how attracted you are to him.

4. “I really respect the decision you made.”

When a man makes a decision, especially a tough one, he doesn’t want his wife being critical of it or questioning him about it. He wants to know that his wife is behind him and admires his ability to make good decisions.

5. “I know how important it is to live within our means. I’m with you on this.”

Your husband is concerned about the future of your family. So that means he is concerned about taking care of his family financially. Having a wife he can rely on to spend and save wisely is a tremendous comfort to him.

6. “I’m so grateful for your spiritual leadership.”

All of us are hardwired for a relationship with God, and many men want to be seen as the spiritual caretakers of their families. Encourage your husband in his faith and for taking his role as a spiritual leader seriously.

7. “You are so wise.”

Many men are born problem solvers and relish the process of thinking through something and arriving at a solution. This, incidentally, is why your husband is always trying to “fix” your problems when all you want him to do is listen.  Recognizing your husband’s mental prowess and complimenting him on his intelligence will pay massive dividends to you. Emphasize to him that you trust his wise judgment.

8. “I appreciate how hard you work to provide for our family.”

There are many things in life that your husband cannot control, but one he can control is effort. It brings him great pleasure to work hard and see the results.  To directly control and be the man responsible for creating something from nothing thrills him. Encourage his great work ethic.

9. “Thank you very much for helping me with that.”

When a man serves his wife, he wants her to recognize it. A simple thank you is all he needs.

10. I’m impressed with how you handled that situation.”

Sometimes a wife will point out when her husband does not handle something well. So when he handles a particularly difficult situation well, let him know.

For the 10 things wives want to hear from their husbands, read this blog.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • justawife

    I agree with this article and I always let my husband have his way because mistakes are the only way to learn and grow. Of course my way is better in the end, and I always end up getting what I want, but my husband didn’t marry me because he needed a nagging mother, he married me because I always have his back no matter what…and I have the patience of a saint.

  • grace

    the only thing that will make you feel loved is knowing the love of Christ. you won’t earn love from your husband whatever you do. Love is a choice, he will either choose to love you or not , same thing for you, you will choose to love him or not and if you choose love you have to do it not expecting something from him. and when you feel you want to be loved, turn to jesus and also when you feel you no longer want to love him also turn to jesus to fill you up.

  • Charmaine Piquette

    So untrue. It’s simply self respect and wanting the best for your husband.
    I’ve been where you are. We should talk.

  • Michele

    I understand what youre saying. I found that when I stopped saying these things just to say them and expecting to get something in return is when I think he started believing me….the heart really makes the difference…at least it did for me. Hope this helps.

  • Glenda R Huntoon

    I see people over reacting a bit here. This is only a one slice of a whole pie. Yes when our husbands make a bad choice, there needs to be accountability. But that accountability should be approached in respect. My husband and I have vowed to always and in all things approach each other with love and respect, even when holding each other accountable for a mistake or bad choice. This article is not saying that we should be subservient. It is just saying to take some time to speak life and love to your husband and don’t camp out on the negative. Ladies, it is ok to set aside a time to talk with your husband about your meeds as well. Do not wait until you are angry with him and yelling at him that you need him to tell you he loves you. He is not going to feel that love while you are yelling at him. But if you sitting quietly having dinner and you say to him ” Honey, I have not heard you say I love you in a long time and you have seemed very busy and distant. I miss “interject an example of something he use to do that you now miss. ” give him complete information. He can’t read your mind. If there is no other underlying problem, he will appreciate that you have noticed he is busy and that you desire to be more interactive with him. Do not be demanding about it, but offer ways to resolve both of your stress, so that the two of you can enjoy some intimate time together building each other and your relationship.

  • Spellingmatters

    Are you 9 years old? Or are you just dumber than a bag of wet hair?

  • Ryan

    From the heart. Exactly. Isn’t that what unconditional love is?

  • PG

    That should be titled “10 ways to appeal to a man’s ego” as a guy all I wan’t to hear is the truth about how my wife feels about me. If she doesn’t feel I’ve made the correct decision or I’m not being a good spiritual leader I’d rather know as I’m not perfect and sometimes other people see these things more clearly. That’s the beauty of marriage. Communication is the most important thing even more so than encouragement.

  • leahchristensen

    So good to hear from a REAL man, and not just some egotistical guy looking for a Stepford wife.

  • D Beaver

    Just heard a sermon on honoring others in humility. To me it is about considering others worth my effort and demonstrating that you value the. 1 peter 3:7 when a husband does this it keeps his prayers from being hindered. I love these suggestions really for me I use them for someone else when bad seeps in I try to fight it with good. I think if encouragement is one if the spiritual gifts. In greatful to God for this great resource

  • Lea Hurd

    OK, this is just bull!! For 4 years my man has lied to me about working. While he was either cheating on me, gambling behind my back, or doing something much worse while I was working, keeping every thing together getting myself in a place to be prepared for children as we had agreed and he’s smoking and lying to doctors about his health conditions. All of his decisions have been based exclusively on what benefits him and only him. He’s now stealing from me and for the past 3 years my birthday’s have been completely ignored by him. Guys don’t want to be your hero!!! They want to by the SELFISH JERKS that they think they deserve to be and they want all of the rewards if being a hero. I’ve been picked on most of my life by guys who I didn’t even know and watched other guys stand around while I was beat up for telling a guy I had never met before that I wouldn’t go out with him. Guys aren’t hero’s and if they want to been seen as a hero…Effing step up to the plate already and JUST MAKE IT HAPPEN! Cause that’s what us women do without praise every day of our lives and we don’t need any praise to do the right thing…We do it because it’s the right thing and that’s enough. We don’t need to be worshipped for protecting and caring and loving those who are important to us. If you need to be worshipped as a GOD to do the right thing then you aren’t ever going to be man enough to love anyone….

  • Jean

    Are you really reading what she just wrote?? Are are you rushing to judge her and to add more pain to her heart? Evidently not.

    She is telling you that she is exhausted doing all the work in the marriage. Marriage is hard on the wife and you tell her to keep slaving? Marriage is already not fair because of all the man made doctrines that husband supporters and writers tell wives to leap over buildings and do.
    Read what she is saying, open your hear and if you have an ounce of compassion you will hear these wives. Marriage is not about what the wife needs to do for the husband. But it is, about what they both are. Supposed to do for each other. Some of you are not aware of how marriage is supposed to be.

  • Jean

    Read the Bible ladies and trust your own judgement. Don’t be deceived!! Read the Wird of God and know that wives TOO, are to be treated right!!
    Wives are to be shiwn and given, affirmation, honor, encouragement, love, understanding, too! These are not just for husbands. Know the truth ladies. Know the truth. Do not put your trust in what a man says.
    Okay so now, let us also go and give your same message to husbands, and tell them to keep affirming and complimenting their wives like they are supposed to do and be servant leaders.
    When the husbands tell you that their wives don’t return the same affirmation and compliiments, let me see you write and tell these husbands to keep giving her affirmation even though she doesn’t return it. I’ll bet you don’t tell the husbands this same message that you loudly keep telling to wives about how to keep doing all the love and affirmations work, in the marriage.
    Wives, don’t listen to these husband exalters. They are confused . Marriage is about the whole couple. They both should give honor, respect, uplifting, compliments, affirmation, support. It is heartless and sooooo wrong for people to tell only the wife to do all the work. That would not be a marriage, but a dictatorship.

    Tell us people, what wife wants to be married to a dictator. This would give her high blood pressure and other stress related illnesses. The human wife, deserves happiness too. So wives, do not let people tell you anything different. Satan is busy. Flee from him and this bad advice. . And yes, I will date this comment. 3-7-2017

  • Beryl

    Yeah, yeah, yeah, key me see you write this to husbands.

  • Guest

    It’s about time. I hope that this list is not the usual watered down list, that tells husbands some generic stuff, to give to their wives. Wives are human too. Why can’t people just stop telling wives to keep bending over backwards, while getting rejected and ignored year after year. That’s not realistic at all. A husband wouldn’t put up with that from his wife, so why do you expect for a wife to put up rejection?
    Human beings continue to show just how mean and ugly, they can be to the females in this world and then also when they are married to a male. It is unbelievable.

  • Beryl

    What are you talking about? You are giving wrong information to these people here. Yeah a husband is the head of the wife!! That’s beside the point of what we are talking about here!! We are talking about giving to our spouses what they are due!!! Nobody said the husband is not the head.

    Stop changing the subject . Stick to the topic……..” GIVING TO YOUR SPOUSE”. Just because the husband has been told to be the head, sweetie, it has nothing to do with him being able to give to his wife. He STILL, must give to his wife!! A human husband is not deity, he is not a god. He was given the position of head of his wife!!! He does not get a free ticket to not give ville, USA!! He still must treat his wife correctly!! Why can’t you all get this??

    But PLEASE, direct us, show us the Scripture that tells the wife to affirm, encourage, be understanding uplift, honor, affirm the husband, but tells the husband that he should not love, honor, affirm, encourage, upllift and be understanding to the wife.
    Go ahead and show us those Scriotures. We need to know!!

  • Beryl

    Guest, you may need to rethink what you just wrote. Marriage is not meant to be one sided.

  • Jean

    It’s sad to think that some commenters believe that all men are narcissistic and need their egos stroked! There are many Christian men, who are confident and have healthy minds and are following the law and happy with their wives. These type men know that they also need to give their wives affirmation and encouragement back in return.
    These are the marriages that survive this cruel chauvinistic world, that us obsessed with beating down women for every little tiny thing.
    Men are sinners too.

  • Jean

    Glenda, evidently you don’t read all the comments. Go,back and read what some of these ladies are saying. Try to hear them. Marriage is not only about the wife uplifting the husband, but also how the husband must uplift the wife.
    The husband should also approach the wife with respect. Everyone needs and deserves respect!! Go back and read all the ladies’ comments and hear, truly hear how these wives feel. If you have love in your heart and you are a Christian, try to hear how all people need love, respect, and affirmation.

    In case you did not know, husbands prayers may be hindered, if they are mistreat their wives . Husbands are to honor their wives and live with their wives in an understanding way, and love their wives as Christ loves the Church, and husbands are to lay down their lives for their wives.
    Let us try not to twist things to exalt husbands. Let us not create man made doctrines that beat up on wives. That would b so wrong. .

  • Guest

    Wow and wow !!

    You are so wise and said it just right!! I hope the lost and selfish husbands are reading this! I also hope those wives who think they don’t deserve lve and respect, to read this. I hope Lori and April, and other wife haters will get knowledge from this.

  • Rhadi Bullard Ferguson Phd

    you don’t do it for something in return. You do it because it’s the right thing to do.

  • Jean wildcat

    What are the ten things a wife wants to hear from her husband? Remember now people. Husbands are mere mortal men who will stand in judgement too. Don’t exalt a man just because the wife is under his head inthe marriage. He still has to lay down his life for his wife and honor and live with her in and understanding way. Men do. To get a free pas. You all are just so busy slamming wives and blaming wives.

    Stop defending husbands, please people. 4-28-17

  • Loveinmyheart

    So…. do I say the above things even if I don’t mean them? I feel like I have to lie and put on a smiley face all the time for this person. I am sure he sees the fakeness. I mean. don’t get me wrong, I tell him (and mean) more than a few of the things on this list, but some of the others? nope.

  • Chel

    Indeed its a general rule of life and not just to our partners but to all the people surrounding us.Serve him unconditionally and think that you are not just doing it as a wife thing but think more about doing it as a favor and praise to God.Its more fulfilling.

  • Chel

    Its something we should always remind ourselves nowadays.Always dedicate to God every will of love you are doing to yourself,your husband ,your children and to all the people surrounding you.