10 More Things Husbands Want to Hear from Their Wives

As I’ve shared in several blog posts, the tongue is powerful and words can hurt or heal, tear down or build up.  People crave words that help, heal, affirm, build up, and breathe life. Because so many shared, tweeted, pinned, posted, and liked my previous post, 10 Things Husbands Want to Hear from their Wives, I thought I’d share a few more. Here they are…

  1. “I’m always on your team.”  When you and your spouse face a difficult choice, be sure your husband knows that you are his teammate, not his enemy.
  2. “I wouldn’t want to be on this journey with anyone else.” Life is a journey. Along the way, you’ll witness things that are breath-taking, but you’ll also experience things that are hurtful and sad. Let your husband know that you’re with him no matter what.
  3. “I don’t’ say it enough, but you are a good man and a good husband.”  Don’t be slow to tell your husband that you admire him for the man he is.
  4. “I don’t understand, but I know you’ll make the right decision.”  Life is full of tough decisions.  So when you aren’t sure how to handle something, tell your husband you trust him to make the right choice for your family.
  5. “I hope our daughter marries a man just like you.”  Let your husband know that you admire his character. Tell him how you desire for your daughter to find a man with similar integrity.
  6. “I really appreciate you planning our date.”  It’s not always a man’s natural tendency to be creative and romantic.  So when your husband plans something special, appreciate him and his effort to be a gentleman.
  7. “I’m thankful that you always have my best interests at heart.” Recognize how you know your husband wants the best for you.
  8. “You make life more fun.” Be sure to point out the moments when your husband makes you laugh.
  9. “I can depend on you to take care of our family.”  Let your husband know that you appreciate being able to depend on him to take care of you and your children.
  10. “You are really courageous.”  Your husband faces fears every day—fear of rejection, fear of loss, fear of failure. Be sure to praise him for standing up to these fears with immense courage.

What are some other things husbands want to hear from their wives? Please share in the comments below. 

Related Resources:

10 Things Wives Want to Hear from Their Husbands
10 More Things Wives Want to Hear from Their Husbands

10 Compliments Your Kids Need to Hear

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Praying

    These ideas are great but what are you suppose to say when you are married to someone with anger issues.

  • Praying

    These ideas are great but what do you say when your husband has anger issues. I can’t always be on his side because he attacks the kids with unkind words. He calls me names and cusses at me. He’s a hard worker when he has a job. He complains about helping at home. I don’t know what to do. I need lots of prayer for us.

  • Amy

    To “praying”: This is very important: [Ask the Lord to soften your heart towards your husband and ask that you see your husband the way he sees your husband.] Hurt people hurt people. A simple resource would be The Five Love Languages. Learn what they are and find your husbands. A soft word turns away wrath. When you feel his mood going downhill, take the kids out for a while. Pray with them. Encourage them to pray for their dad. You can become bitter quite easily and hold resentment. They’ll pick up on that. So it’s important to begin the work within you. I would just encourage you again to pray, “Please let me see him the way you see him. Give me compassion and a heart for my husband so that I can see the pain behind his anger.”. I know that’s a hard thing to do when all you want to do is fight back and argue..defend your kids, but that does not work. Please try my advice. :). I will be praying too

  • Tony Robinson

    His anger issues are something that he is going to have to search himself to find, and get to the root of. It is not fair for him to curse you or attack the kids, but please consider he is human, he makes mistakes. Also consider the stresses that he may be under to provide for his family. I do not condone that behavior, but people handle stress differently. My first suggestion is that he is made aware that you love him unconditionally, this helps to let his guard down. Additionally when he knows that you are proud of him no matter what that ensures that his anger is not directed at you, and there is somenthing that comes alive in a man when his wife says she is proud of him. I essense you say to him ” You are sufficient to meet my needs.” The moment he knows that you are proud of him you will see a change in him. A word of caution though when you inform him that you are proud of him be prepared to say why, and make sure it is meaningful and heartfelt. Finally work together on ways to help him to deal with stress there are many resources out there to help with strategies to cope with stress. Hope this helps.

  • Joe

    Thank you for being our spiritual leader or thank you for being the example to our children of what a life looks like of a husband and father that tries to be a good Christian.

  • Diane

    I say as little as possible and pray continuously.

  • Cheipi

    My husband isn’t perfect and has a lot of flaws that some things here are really not what I want to tell him. I wouldn’t want my daughter to marry a man who is lazy and irresponsible and someone who chooses friends over family. Lucky are those who married men who are ideal. But one thing that kept me staying ion this relationship is my faith that he will be a changed man soon. I am hoping, praying, wishing and asking for it.

  • Struggling

    What if you don’t feel some of these things? I struggle with the choices and actions my husband makes, which makes it difficult to say these things to him.

  • Struggling

    Cheipi, I can relate to how you are feeling. I wouldn’t want my daughter to marry someone who is critical and chooses drinking and music over family time. It is hard to pray for someone who you find you don’t always like. 🙁 I admire your faith, and pray that I too can keep that same hope.

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  • Concerned

    Praying is important, no argument with that. However, as a Christian, you have a duty and responsibility to yourself, and more importantly — to your children. If your husband has just lost his path and this is a temporary situation, you can be supportive and help to guide him back to his loving ways. HOWEVER, if he has always had anger issues, if he always has verbally abused you and your children, if you are ever in fear for your physical safety, you MUST protect yourself and your children! After you are in a safe place, then you can work it out, and when he understands that there is no place for abuse in any relationship, then you can consider getting closer again. God never intended for the leader and provider of your family to abuse you. It sounds like he may be home frequently, too, with your comment of *when* he has a job… Being home often puts him in close proximity to you and your children, so it makes it even more imperative to get help quickly. You have the power, the right, and even God’s support, to protect yourself and your children! If you don’t protect them, who will??

  • leahchristensen

    Darn right!! If both don’t understand, how can they be on the team, and how is it a team when one person makes all the decisions, especially ones the other doesn’t understand? This directly contradicts “thou shalt not lie!”

  • Beryl

    Amy you said,
    ” Learn what they are and find your husbands. A soft word turns away wrath. When you feel his mood going downhill, take the kids out for a while. Pray with them. Encourage them to pray for their dad.
    The same thing goes for the husband. Everything you are suggesting that the wife does for the husband, would also be needed for the husband to give to the wife.

  • Beryl

    Someone somewhere, needs to write an article to clarify all this confusion and these man made doctrines, about complimenting, bragging, and showing appreciation to a husband. It must go both ways.
    It must be said to these husband supporters that wives are important too, very much so and that they get downtrodden and discouraged too. Wives need the same thing that you all are suggesting for wives to do for husbands. Wives have a tremendous workload on their shoulders, plus all the female issues they have to attend to.. Please people do not allow evil intentions to tell women that only the husband needs braggin and encouragement. This is not right.

  • Amy

    All the ideas I suggested to “Praying” were for her benefit too. When you turn towards the Lord and seek refuge in him, a mighty work begins to take place inside your heart. Yes..it would be great if her husband prayed with her and for her, but she conveyed to us a man with anger issues and a hot temper. Would you have rather me say, “Cuss at him right back! Take the kids and move out…file for divorce.” Or “You need to find ya a man that appreciates you, honey!”?? As someone who has been right where she’s at in her relationship, I told her what worked for me. She can’t change him, but through Christ, she can work on herself and with much prayer and petition God can work a miracle in their lives. As for the love languages…when you’re dealing with a husband with serious anger issues, I’m curious what your advice to her would be. In my experience, I found my heart softening towards my husband when I went out of my way to show respect and do things for him that I knew spoke his language..not because he changed, but because in doing those things (& btw it was only through Christ that I could somedays), I changed.

  • Carlene Whitlow Hurt

    My hubby and i just had the worst fight of our marriage. I decided to not back down “this time ” cause he was way wrong but he truly and honestly had no clue what i was talking about. I was shocked cause hes a very clever guy. So i thought he didnt care and he thought i was basicly crazy. Which of course made me crazy. We got to the point of seeking out a third party to translate. At first he didnt want to because ,and i quote,”i dont wanna see you hurt when they tell you your wrong ” he said to me ! Talk about making someone crazy . So finally we tried to explain our selves like we would to a kid and figured it out. I said …..and he heard ….. So best thing you can do is listen to the actual words that are being said and speak as plainly as possible. If you do youll get there. I was right which is why i went crazy and couldnt wait to bring someone in. The end of the fight was so nothing in comparison and i still feel a little unsatisfied lol but we are better for it.

  • Beryl, you’re right-it must go both ways. I wrote a list for wives too. http://www.markmerrill.com/2013/12/10/10-more-things-wives-want-to-hear-from-their-husbands/

  • struggling and leachchristensen, maybe this will help clarify. http://www.markmerrill.com/2013/11/25/if-then-marriage-cycle/

  • leahchristensen

    This is one cycle my husband and I never got into. What I was pointing out was the “I may not understand but…” Thing. Maybe my iPhone directed me to respond under the wrong comment. lol that sometimes happens.

    My husband and I trust each other, but we both agree that the minute that turns I to blind trust, we’re just setting ourselves up for trouble. He may be the first to come to a conclusion, or it may be me, but if either if us doesn’t understand, than a decision is not going to be made till we both do!!!

  • Sheriff

    I’m learning really late in my marriage of 20 years. I wish I would have bought on to these principals a LONG time ago. It would have saved the damaged I caused to my kids both boys and girl. Now I am having to allow God to repair me, and my family. Thank God my husband is also willing to grow with me even now. At the years before I truly thought everything was his fault. He too had/ sometimes still has an anger problem. I was one of those who kept thinking if he would just.. Then I could just…. The truth is I need to be responsible for my contributing faults. I provoked him. Yes there were times he was angry all on his own. That did not give me the excuse to disrespect him, especially in front of his kids. I can only hope that other women will learn what I learned late. Respecting my husband despite his faults (and he had many) , trusting in God to fix our marriage, would have saved me and my family a lot of emotional damage.
    Great books to read or watch (DVD) is Love and Respct Emerson Eggerichs.
    I wish I could share with you so much more because I really went through so much disapointment, fears, heartache, that I should have brought to The Lord. I was not only giving up on my husband, I was giving up on God.
    Dont give up on what God wants for your marriage. There is no choice but to fight for your marriage, for him, you and your children.

  • Sheriff

    I do for my kids things that are good for them despite their attitude of ungratefulness or disobedience etc. if I can do that for my children, how much more does my husband deserve that. (I don’t mean to compare my husband to my children because he is not)
    I made a commitment and my emotions don’t always line up with what God wants me to do. You trust God to teach you, to show what you can not see. I have had to be the bigger person sometimes. I have had to act first. I guarentee you your husband is feeling the same way, except he is feeling it in the areas of his life that men typically feel it, and you are expressing your disappointment in the area of your life where we women typically feel it. The truth is neither of you are getting your needs met, but one of you needs to step out first to seek change.

  • Tony Robinson

    @Concerned Guest
    I appreciate your feedback, however if you wish to offer advise offer it to the person requesting the advise not the one giving it. I thing that we both want the same end result for the person who requested this advice over 3 months ago, and that is for them to work together to rectify the issues in their relationship.

  • Emilia

    Words can heal! best thing us as women is to stand by our man, to show him deep respect from the heart, the Bible says a husband is a wife´s head and happily accept our role in family only brings honor and happiness to our families!

  • Delite Lester

    Thank your husband for things he does at the time just as you would if it were someone else. For example, when he does a normal task but he does it without you asking him to.
    Thank him for taking such good care of you and your family, for loving you so well, for making you feel safe.

  • bored with this marriage thing

    Most of these are things I would like to say to my husband… who takes no initiative… so I can’t say them…

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