I confess. Sometimes I run the car until the gas gauge is past empty. I arrive at the airport just a few minutes before the flight departs. Or I rush from meeting to meeting with no time in between. What does that cause? A spike in my stress level.
And this stress is self-imposed! But in recent years, I’m addressing it by building more margin into my family’s life. Here are 6 ways to build margin into your family life and as a result, reduce your stress level.
1. Prepare ahead.
You’ve heard that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, and that’s true when reducing morning madness. Take a little time tonight to prepare for tomorrow and you’ll cut the level of stress. Have the children lay out the clothes they are going to wear or select them if they’re too young to do it themselves. If they’re going to school, make sure any school supplies are packed and ready. Put together as much of breakfast and lunch as you can in advance and finish up in the morning.
2. Get up earlier.
It’s really tempting to hit the snooze button, but an extra nine minutes isn’t going to make a great deal of difference, and you’ll just enter the day rushing. Conversely, rising 10 or 15 minutes before you “need” to really can pay dividends. You have time for a quiet few minutes on your own with a cup of coffee and some prayer and Bible study—the calm before the storm! When everyone else rises, then you can be the still center of their morning. Here are 14 Ways to Stop the Morning Madness.
3. Get there early.
Screeching into the parking lot at the last minute and leaping out of the vehicle means you step into your next commitment with a high level of stress. Give yourself a few extra minutes to get where you’re going and you won’t have to worry if traffic is bad. On arrival, you can take a deep breath and compose yourself. You can collect yourself and everything you need, or spend a few minutes connecting with and talking to whoever else is in the car with you.
4. Carry to-dos with you.
Doing things now frees up time later, so look for ways to make use of any downtime in the day between running errands, taking kids to different commitments, or showing up for your own appointments. Work on that business reading you have to do or the letter you’ve been meaning to write while waiting for your doctor’s appointment.
5. Control your commitments.
We all have “must” things to do—obligations and duties—but you may be surprised to discover how many you can let go. One of the challenges is that your slate is full of good things, like sports, community or church activities, friends, and extracurricular programs. But load them on top of each other and they become too much. So set limits. When our children were small, we’d limit them to participating in one sport at a time. Bottom line: Own your family calendar. Also, start a “stop doing” list. Make a list of all the things you do. Then ask yourself, “What is one thing I can stop doing?”
6. Schedule downtime.
While you should be taking some things off your calendar, you should also be adding something—family time. This is an evening or a weekend afternoon when you turn down all other options so you can be together. But keep it simple. This is an opportunity to detox from distractions. Maybe it’s playing board games together, or a reading hour when everyone sits with a book. You can silence cell phones so there are no interruptions. In this hyper-connected modern world, it’s really important for children to learn that they don’t have to be glued to technology. Here are 7 Ways to Fit Downtime Into Your Schedule and some more ideas on When to Say No to Good Things.
In what ways have you learned to increase margin and reduce stress for your family? Share your ideas with others here.