If you’ve listened to me for any period of time, you’ve probably heard me confess that I sometimes struggle with giving encouragement. When you’re a parent, it’s easy to get stuck in correction mode. We see things in our kids’ lives that need fixing, and we offer suggestions for how to be better. Certainly correction and evaluation are necessary in training your child to be and do their best, but if that’s all they ever hear from us, then we run the risk of making them feel that nothing they do is good enough. One of the most important things we can do as a parent is to offer a sincere and well timed word of encouragement to our children.
You don’t have to wait for a special occasion to tell your kids how much they mean to you, or how proud you are of them. Maybe your son’s been struggling with keeping his room tidy. You’ve had to correct him on several occasions. This morning, you walk by his room and you see him cleaning – he didn’t have to be told! That’s a perfect opportunity to let him know how proud you are of him. You see your daughter as she watches a touching story…she is moved by the suffering of someone else. Tell her how proud you are of her compassion and empathy. You don’t have to make a big deal out of it. How many times during the course of your day do you see your kids do something that makes you proud? 10, 20, 100?? Tell them!
A few years ago, I took some cardboard, attached some old ribbon and had an awards ceremony – honoring my kids for doing something good that week. My oldest daughter got the award for joining the church, my younger daughter for doing more that what was expected and my son for catching a pop fly in baseball. Sure, the kids acted like it was totally un-cool, but that night, I noticed that they had all hung their ribbons in their rooms. We all love to be appreciated. So keep your eyes on your family and catch them doing something good, and then tell them how proud you are of them.
If you’re looking for more practical ideas on how to encourage your kids, why not participate in an iMOM Morning or an All Pro Dads Day Breakfast. These programs are a simple idea with a profound impact. It’s a one-hour monthly breakfast held before school where parents and their children meet with other parents and kids in the school cafeteria or a local restaurant. During this time, they discuss a wide range of family topics, spend time together, create fun memories, and are equipped with resources to strengthen their relationship. After a quick breakfast, parents and kids engage in a meaningful, encouraging conversation on a discussion topic. It’s half an hour of lively interaction, with plenty of hugs, smiles and surprises.
