Do you know what your children’s needs are? Sure, they need the basics like shelter and clothing, but what about their emotional needs? In his book, Five Needs Your Child Must Have Met at Home, Ron Hutchcraft discusses the 5 critical needs of every child. I’ve taken that information and boiled it down to the 5 Surefire S’s of Successful Parenting.
Secure Sense of Self
Children need to know their identity; that they are unique and special. What you tell your child about themselves will have a great impact on the person they become. Focus on their strengths and avoid comparing them to other children. When you describe them or encourage them, focus on who they are and not the things that they do.
Sexual Questions Answered
The overwhelming amount of overt sexuality in the media brings this conversation into homes much earlier than parents would like. It’s your job, mom and dad, to prepare your child to understand, value, and control their sexuality. If you don’t, the media and their peers will. It’s never an easy conversation, but if you create a climate of open communication in your home, then teaching your kids about sexuality, boundaries and relationships will naturally flow out of that.
Satisfying Love
Does your son or daughter feel loved by you? Most parents think they are loving parents, but sometimes this love isn’t communicated to their children in a way that the child understands or recognizes. One way to show your children love is to be there for them. Be there when they wake up in the morning and when they go to bed at night. Be there when they leave for school and when they get home. And be there in the evening when your child wants to talk about their day. Unfortunately most parents’ schedules don’t allow for ALL of these opportunities, but try to be there for as many as you can each day. Here are some ideas for keeping family time fresh.
Stable Authority
As a parent, you are modeling the concept of authority to your children. And because children need a stable authority, make sure that your parenting and discipline styles are consistent and that you and your spouse are united on this topic. Make sure your expectations and consequences are clearly understood by your children.
Spiritual Reality
Your children have spiritual needs. Parents are in a unique position to model a spiritual life and to train their children in the ways of God. My wife, Susan, and I taught our children 4 Things to Remember as they headed off to college.
If you and your spouse meet these needs for your children, you will be well on the way to growing wise, healthy, purpose-minded, relationally-focused children.
