Olympic hurdlers are always interesting to watch. They sprint at top speed, leap over the barriers, and rarely break their stride as they fix their eyes on the finish line. It’s easy to draw a parallel in our careers. We study something, put countless hours into it, and go after defined goals. It’s not always easy, but chasing down success can seem straightforward. But how does this apply to being a leader at home?
If work is similar to Olympic hurdles, life at home can feel more like a muddy obstacle course. There’s no straight line to follow, wild challenges pop up often, and it feels like we’re one misstep away from an injury. Leading at home is hard. On many days, it feels harder than the challenges we face at work. Don’t get discouraged if it feels like you’re failing. It’s hard because it’s important. Here are 5 reasons why home is the hardest place to lead.
1. You can’t fire your children.
If employees are disrespectful, consistently late, or underperforming, you can fire them. If your kids aren’t listening, you don’t just kick them out. You’re a parent forever, no matter what. You must lead with the long-term in mind. Being a leader at home comes with weightier expectations, because parenting is a commitment, not a contract. When it’s especially tough because the kids aren’t listening, remember that children are a gift and worth the effort it takes to guide them into maturity.
2. There is no paid or unpaid time off.
Who doesn’t love a nice vacation? The average U.S. worker gets 10–20 paid days off per year. As a husband and father, you’ll get zero. In fact, overtime is required, and you’ll probably work harder on holidays. There are no breaks from leading our homes, but that’s not a bad thing. Our families should get our full attention and effort. Everybody likes breaks. Me-time is good. But, as tough as it is, our families deserve all of us, all the time, physically, emotionally, and mentally.
3. There are no salaries, bonuses, or raises.
Money is a universal motivator. There may be some financial incentive to crushing it at your office, but those bonuses aren’t coming at home. In fact, your family is going to cost a lot of money. Leading at home means providing food, clothing, and more. Don’t get me started on braces. Dads can feel like a walking ATM. It can be frustrating, but fight the urge to stop leading when the payoff isn’t obvious. Embrace those intangible riches, like hugs, love notes, and laughs. You become a selfless servant when love is your motivation.
4. There are no awards, accolades, or applause.
If you’re waiting for a pat on the back for assembling those bunk beds or mopping the floor, it may never come. Leading at home requires being internally motivated, knowing there are no trophies for raising successful kids or loving your wife well. It would be great to be recognized for all the hard work you do as a dad or husband, but if you’re only in it for the recognition, then your heart posture is off. Lead at home because your kids need it, and your wife deserves it. Finding satisfaction in knowing you’re putting the needs of your family ahead of your own is the reward.
5. There are daily HR issues.
Parents are constantly trying to hit moving targets. One minute you’re cementing a family budget with your spouse. The next you’re trying not to lose your cool after the kids flushed apples down the toilet. Leadership requires a lot of us, especially when there are so many diverse hoops to jump through in the same day. We have to manage marital conflict, sibling arguments, bullying, sickness, school grades, talking back, crying, lying, and more. There’s an emotional toll to leading.
What is the hardest job you’ve ever had? Share in a comment.
