1. Listen
A simple task it would seem, but it’s amazing how difficult it can be to just simply listen. Not solve, not direct and not lecture. Listen. All children will tell you what’s on their minds. They only want someone to hear them. Give your child the patience and time they need from you. It will do a world of good.
2. Pep Squad
We all need a cheering section—someone to be a fan of who we are and what we do. Let that person be you! Encouragement is vital in the growth of children. Go to the games, the recitals and the plays. Reward good grades. Tap your feet to the instrument they’re playing. Let them know how proud you are of their efforts.
3. The Big Picture
Some children have outward abilities that are obvious and easy to recognize. Your son might be an outstanding soccer player for instance. However, that is not all there is to him. Make sure you affirm his other less obvious qualities as well. Maybe he’s very kind, considerate and generous. See the entire picture of what your child is, and acknowledge it.
4. Time Is Of the Essence
Your kids need you to be involved in their lives. That requires adjustments in your schedule. Seeing you sit on the couch for two hours every night does not qualify as being involved. Prioritize some of the every-day opportunities to be present in their lives: teacher meetings, the occasional visit to school for lunch, one on one time doing whatever. Make time for each of your children individually as best as you can. It shows them that they matter to you.
5. Security Breeds Confidence
Papa Bear and Mama Bear…that’s you. Cuddly and furry, but ferocious when danger lurks. Children desperately need to feel secure. Home should be a loving and safe place. It’s your job to make it so. That seems like common sense, but so many children lack this security in their life. Instead, they see parents fighting, destructive habits and even drug abuse. A great many things can ruin the security of your child’s emotions and thusly their confidence. Stay alert and stay on duty.
6. Greater Purpose
There is a major difference between confidence and self-centeredness. Arrogance can also enter the picture. You don’t want to raise children that others view as inconsiderate. There are enough of those as it is. We have a greater purpose in life by God’s design. We should be humble, yet strong…confident, yet gracious…intelligent, yet compassionate. We have to teach our children to see beyond their own desires and needs.
7. Catch Them When They Fall
Life isn’t always sunshine and lollipops. Downpours and hard times are always sure to come. These are the moments that test our character and define us as human beings. When disappointment or sadness come knocking for your child, be there to help them understand what’s happening—not necessarily to solve—but for support. Your kids need those times like flowers need rain. Teach them the perspective needed to absorb life’s blows and move forward.
8. Spokes in the Wheel
As adults, we are aware that we all have different talents and gifts to offer the world. We are all just spokes in the big wheel. For children, they may not see things so clearly. Your daughter might not understand why she isn’t a cheerleader and her best friend is. Your son might have a buddy who excels in math and he struggles. You’ve said it yourself, “Variety is the spice of life.” It would be awfully boring if we were all made the same. Help your children find their own gifts and to appreciate those of others.
9. The Power of Positive Thinking
“Just what makes that little ol’ ant think he’ll move that rubber tree plant?” He had high hopes so the song goes. When our minds are focused and our spirits high, we can accomplish miracles. Positive thinking moves mountains as well as rubber tree plants. Allow your children to dream big and to never give up. Give them a pat on the back and tell them to go get ‘em!
10. The Right Crowd
You aren’t always with your child. In fact, most of the time you’re not. They’re at school and you’re at work. You’re mowing the grass and they’re playing at a friend’s house. Obviously other people have a great deal of influence on your child. Who these other people are matters very much. Peer pressure is a parenting hot topic. Get to know the important friends in your child’s life. Get to know their parents. Our circle of friends should be diverse and inspiring. Friends that help lift us up to greater heights. Friends that push us to be better people…these are the people who make up the right crowd.
