Four years have passed since the royal wedding of William and Kate, Britain’s young royal couple. Now they have two small children, and together they still capture the imagination and attention of the world.
I wrote a blog at the time of their wedding and asked the question: “They planned well for the wedding, but how much did they plan for marriage?” Will this couple approach their marriage with the same intensity and focus as they did their wedding day? It is important to not just have a wedding plan, but a marriage plan. Most couples pour vast amounts of energy, time, and resources into planning for the big day. Here are some ways they do that:
- Finances: Weddings are expensive. Regardless of how much a couple is spending, anticipating expenses and creating a budget are usually important from day one of planning.
- Emotions: Most engaged couples are extra sensitive to each other’s emotions. They go the extra mile to accommodate one another.
- Time Management and Planning: When planning the events before, during, and after the wedding, every detail is scrutinized, every moment planned. Where will we have the rehearsal dinner? The wedding? When will the bride enter? Where will the groom be? What music will be played? The details demonstrate the couple’s intentionality in planning this special event in their lives.
- Counseling: Many wise couples will go through hours of premarital counseling. Susan and I did.
- Cherishing Key Memories: Capturing photos at the rehearsal dinner and video recording the wedding and reception happen because the couple wants to cherish, remember and, one day, relive those special gatherings.
- Family Gatherings: Weddings can create rare opportunities for extended family members who don’t see each other regularly to be together. This can create great memories for years to come.
- Peacemaking and Unity: The days leading up to the wedding day can be special days when family can come together in peace and harmony. It can be a time when family members forgive one another for old wounds and celebrate new beginnings.
There is so much we do to get ready for that one, big, special day. But do we pour ourselves into our marriages in the same way? After all, our marriages should have thousands of special days.
Here are some questions we should ask ourselves:
- Do we have a budget for our household? Are we making wise financial decisions in our spending, saving, and sharing?
- Are we sensitive to our spouse’s emotions? Are we going the extra mile each day? Or, do we trample on their feelings?
- Are we intentional about our time and plans together? Or, do we let the circumstances and busyness of life dictate our priorities?
- Are we seeking wise counsel from others? Are we getting marriage counseling when we need it?
- Are we capturing and cherishing key moments in our lives with photos and video? When was the last time we wrote love letters to one another?
- Are we creating opportunities to connect with extended family? Or, do we just wait for the next wedding or funeral to reconnect?
- Are we striving to be peacemakers in our families? Or, do we just let hurting relationships flounder?
A wedding day is very important and very special. It should be the beginning, not the end, of a couple pouring their lives and love into one another.
What other ways did your wedding day bring out the best in you or others? Do you still see those traits in your relationship today? Please share your comments.