#135: Trust: The Key to Unlock Intimacy in Marriage
If someone were to ask you the question: What is the key to intimacy in a marriage? What answers do you think you’ll receive? I can imagine a lot of words that might be racing through your mind. Sexual compatibility. Time. Romance. Open Communication. Compromise. Forgiveness. Kindness. All of those are good answers, but on today’s show, Susan and I would like to suggest that there’s a strong case to be made that TRUST is an important key that unlocks the door to emotional and physical intimacy in marriage. Trust is an essential ingredient in the two of you becoming one flesh. In List 5 of our new books, Lists to Love by for Busy Husbands and Lists to Love by for Busy Wives, we mention “If trust is the door to intimacy, then there are three keys to opening that door.”
How to Teach Your Kids about Forgiveness
Love may make the world go round, as the old saying goes, but it’s forgiveness that oils all the moving parts. Because we live in an imperfect world, with imperfect people, learning how to ask for forgiveness is one of the most important lessons we can offer our children.
10 Ways to Respond When You’ve Been Offended
As a public speaker and former attorney, I know the importance of choosing your words carefully. But I have to admit there have been many times when I have said or done something that has offended someone without my intending to do so. And I have been on the receiving end of words and actions […]
7 Safe Spaces Your Spouse Needs
After writing What To Do When You Are Lonely in Marriage, I realized from the many comments from readers that this is a huge issue. So many husbands and wives are lonely in their marriages even though they live in the same house and share the same bed. I’ve also sensed that there are many who […]
7 T’s to Treasure Your Spouse
I’m a big fan of date nights and weekends away in marriage. Susan and I still have those regular times together. Making a special effort to spend one-on-one time with your spouse tells your spouse that you treasure them.
Dinner and a stroll in the park or a bed-and-breakfast getaway can show your spouse they are important to you, and that’s good, but there are some simple things you can do every day to show them that they are immeasurably valuable. Minor moments are as important as grand gestures in strengthening your marriage.
Should My Spouse Share Our Marital Struggles with Others?
Every spouse in every marriage will, at some point, want to talk to others about some private marital struggles. Many just want someone to listen, or to understand the hurt, anger or confusion they are going through. Susan and I have had our moments of venting to friends in our 28 years of marriage.
But sharing things carelessly, to the wrong person at the wrong time, can change a problem into a full-blown crisis. Before baring marital problems to others, there are nine things below you might consider.
How to Safeguard Your Marriage
Trained professionals who handle firearms, manage complex work systems, work in law enforcement, or serve in the military are taught to be alert, ready to respond to threats at a moment’s notice based on what is called “situational awareness.” But they’re also taught that treating everything like a high-level threat will exhaust them, lead to costly and dangerous mistakes, and diminish their effectiveness. Similarly, in marriage, it’s important to be alert to threats, but a constant defensive stance can exhaust or smother the marriage
5 C’s for Staying in Sync with Your Spouse
In this increasingly busy world, it’s all too easy for couples to quietly drift apart. Sure, they share a home and parenting responsibilities. There are no big problems in their relationship and they love each other. But bit by bit they lose their sense of real connection in their marriage and life together
What Comparison Does to You
Susan has noticed that more and more couples have what she’s called an “InstaMarriage” on social media. You know the type I mean: all the pictures and posts are carefully crafted to show nothing but marital and family bliss. We all know life is harder and more complicated, and yet it’s so tempting to be envious of that “fakebook” world that others create. It’s not real. It’s not safe. It’s not a standard to live up to. Instead, these posts create comparisons of self, job, marriage, and status that are sometimes crushing. We must learn to confront what comparing to others does to us and fight it.
