10 Things to Do to Help Your Marriage Feel Less Stressed

2 min read

reducing stress

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” -Serenity Prayer, attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr

Stress is at the root of many health issues in America. Heart disease, depression, and hypertension are just a few of many stress-related maladies. But physical health isn’t the only casualty of a stressful lifestyle. In marriages, stress is a leading cause of interpersonal tension and dysfunction.

However, there is good news. A lot of the stress in marriage is avoidable when both parties are aware of stressful triggers. Here are 10 things to do to reduce stress in your marriage.

1. Always put your spouse first.

This is a huge principle and key to reducing relationship stress. Ideally, a husband and wife both will put each other first, but you only have control over your own behavior.

2. Have fun together.

Movies, walks, picnics, games, trips… And laugh together, too. Laughing together is great relationship medicine.

3. Build time together into your schedule.

The time you spend with your spouse shouldn’t be your leftovers. Your relationship with your spouse trumps all other priorities and schedules. If that means scrawling relax together on the calendar in indelible marker, then so be it.

4. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

When you feel the first inklings of stress, ask yourself if what you’re stressed about is a moral issue. If not (it usually isn’t), let it go. Make your mutual priorities a recurring topic of conversation. Remind yourselves of what really counts. Simplify your lifestyle. Celebrate what you have in each other.

5. Give back, and do it together.

Work at the soup kitchen; volunteer with a faith-based community; hook up with a group that helps the less fortunate or restores the environment. Throw yourselves into charitable causes together, and watch things fall into perspective.

6. Communicate clearly and respectfully.

Like sitcom fodder, misunderstandings are the source of a lot of tension. Always keep your spouse in the loop, and always communicate with love and good manners.

7. Tell the truth.

Don’t forget this old adage: “When you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember what you said the last time.” People who don’t keep secrets experience less stress in relationships.

8. Hold hands, hug, and make out.

Physical contact is a proven stress reliever. Squeeze into the same chair to watch TV; just hang all over one another. Reach out and take your spouse’s hand while walking, driving, or at an event. Be deliberate about demonstrating affection via physical contact.

9. Play to your strengths and hers.

Effective teachers know that playing to a student’s strengths works better than focusing on any weaknesses. Pay attention to your spouse’s strengths: build up, affirm, and encourage. Criticism always leads to more stress.

10. Live within your means.

Money problems are the leading cause of stress in American marriages. Take preventative measures to work this one out. And remember the fourth point above: “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” Most of the stuff we get into debt over is simply not worth the stress.

How do you relieve stress? Share in a comment.

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