Your Spouse is Not the Enemy


Your spouse is not the enemy. You’re on the same team. I repeat: your spouse is not the enemy. Let me say that again: your spouse is not the enemy.

You and your wife are on the same team. See if these scenarios sound familiar: He’s having a blast with his buddies on the golf course; she’s back at home cleaning the house. Or she’s out having fun with her friends; he’s back home mowing the yard. “I’m always the bad guy,” she exclaims. “How come you get to go play with the kids and I’m the one who always gets stuck disciplining them?” Or, he says, “You just got a new couch, so why can’t I spend a measly hundred bucks on some new fishing gear?” Husbands and wives can sometimes find themselves keeping a marital scorecard. They keep track of who spends more, disciplines more, does the dishes more, cleans more, mows more, and works more. If couples aren’t careful, they can become bitter and resent the other for not helping enough or for having more fun. If not addressed, a husband and wife can even feel like enemies. Try being an undercover spouse and walking in your spouse’s shoes for a day. At the end, you’ll have a better understanding of just how much each of you do around the house.

But, if you find yourself keeping score, what should you do?

First, remember this key thought:

You were designed to complete each other, not compete with each other. Marriage is the ultimate team sport, and marriages only work well when husbands and wives remember that they’re on the same team.

Second, we know that love is not jealous or selfish:

Love is all about giving. So a loving wife knows when her husband needs support, and she helps him. She encourages her man. A loving husband sacrifices and gives time to his wife when he senses she is overwhelmed. He cherishes his woman and ensures her physical and emotional health. He encourages her.

Third, as you go through your day ask yourself, “Is this a good decision not only for me but also for my mate?”

And, “Is this something that’s going to help our team or hurt it?” Teamwork in marriage requires a selfless, sacrificial, and giving spirit.

What do you do to maintain a spirit of teamwork in your marriage?

Portions of this blog came from my book, All Pro Dad: Seven Essentials to Be a Hero to Your Kids.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.