You have remarkable power right under your nose. The power of the tongue is so great that it’s capable of discouraging or encouraging, hurting or healing, tearing down or building up. That’s why we’d all do well to heed this advice: Control your tongue. Think about it. If you didn’t have a tongue, you couldn’t speak, and you’d eliminate most conflict in your relationships. But you do have a tongue. So, what do you do when your spouse or child takes aim at you and starts to fire a verbal assault?
Fire right back, right? Well, that’s our instinct. But when we lead with love, we receive the “friendly fire,” and don’t pull the verbal trigger, even though everything in us says to let it rip. Sometimes, responding with a gentle answer like “it makes me sad that you feel that way” or not saying anything at all is the best response. Silence is golden when you’re under fire from another person. And silence under fire comes more naturally when we’ve chained, tamed, and trained our tongues. Here are 3 reasons to do that.
3 Reasons to Chain, Tame, and Train Your Tongue
1. You never regret what you never say.
2. You give yourself time to think it through so you can give a calm and reasonable response.
3. You keep things from escalating to an uncontrollable level.
When Chaining, Taming, and Training Is Tough
There are other times when you are the one ready to unleash your tongue’s venom on your spouse or kids. The temptation to do that is at its peak when you’re tired and irritable after a hard day’s work, when your child is rebelling, when you’re not feeling well, or when you’re under extreme financial pressure.
How to Chain, Tame, and Train
But it’s during those times that you must remember that your tongue is a wild animal. You need to chain it, tame it, and train it. Chain it by being silent when you know nothing good will come out of your mouth. Tame it by vowing each day that you will harness and control your tongue. Train it to breathe lifegiving words into those you love. If you do find yourself headed toward a heated argument, take a break and use the REST worksheet to calmly continue the discussion.
If you struggle too, I’d love to hear your ideas on how you control your tongue. Please share your thoughts with me below.
Portions of this blog came from my book All Pro Dad: Seven Essentials to Be a Hero to Your Kids.
